2 notes

Blue Fashion:

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Note 1:
One of my worst qualities is "butting-in". Every family member has complained about this quality, but I don't think I am that bad. Reality check: living in close proximity to Auntie for the past few weeks has shown me how bad this quality is and what I might become if I am not careful: the most annoying, unbearable person on earth and my children will despise me.

But I cannot help it. When I see something wrong/unlawful/ incorrect/ imperfect, then my hands itch and I must get involved in fixing it. I like things to be right. I love rules and regulations. I wish life was fair. Everyone should get what they deserve. Nobody should rise above the law. I hate 'connections' and hope it diminishes. Hence my obsession with "butting-in" and trying to fix things.


Note 2:

Divorce court is a miserable place. Miserable and sad because its indicative of a broken life, and broken vows. What was once a beautiful sacred relationship has turned ugly and broken down. The shame of the disability to keep one's family intact whilst everyone else around oneself seems to have the perfect family is overwhelming. Divorce to many is a great indicator of Failure. Those people do not consider that if they were in the same situation, they would've left the marriage ages ago. They just point their fingers in the direction of divorcees and assume they are failures.

Hell, NO!!

Failure is having your life ruined after divorce. Yet many divorcees re-marry and are happy. They've had another attempt at marriage and have made it work.

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

Guardian Angels

All my life, the mere mention of guardian angels made me laugh. The thought of each one of us having an angel to protect us, I couldn't really digest. But, yesterday's incident made me reconsider my beliefs.

In a newly industrialized area, I was going to pick up my friend from the hotel. With no traffic lights or signs on the turn, and just red cones separating the 2 roads, I ended up on the wrong side of the road and saw a huge car flash coming towards me.

Let me describe it all in detail:

I didn't really panic, just thought to myself: uh oh and looked to my right (it was blocked), then looked to my left and amidst the congregation of taxis, there a small space I could pull into. I swerved the car and stopped it there. And I was still calm.

Then it hit me.  When the driver of the bus came down and started banging on my windows and cursing.  My heart started beating, realising that a split second of not paying attention could have cost me dearly. It would've been my life and not theirs since I was driving the saloon.

What happened in those few seconds? It really felt as if a huge hand made the bus suddenly brake allowing me enough time to swerve the car. I am sure I had the radio on but during those few seconds, the quietness was deafening. Somebody was there with me, I felt it. Maybe not a somebody but a something, an energy. I was meant to live. I was meant to live. I am still alive. Just thinking about it now, makes me tearful.

Was that a sign (considering I have been lazy with praying on time and neglecting a few)? I think it was.

So, will I ever mock the term guardian angels again? I hope not, and may this incident serve as a reminder.

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

Encore

The title of a great book I read before I started university. It's world was magical. Slender ballerinas, Russian counts, Gold-guilded carriages and the Tsarina. A few of the mesmerizing facts that after watching a documentary turned out to actually be true. This beautiful world did exist in the Russian courts and performed in Paris. It wasn't just folklore. Diaghilev, Michael Fokine, Massine, Pavlova and Balanchine all existed. I wonder what magical world they lived in? Was it anything like the current day glamourous yet corrupt hollywood?


Till we meet again,
Sedeso

Inequality

I've had a long discussion with my friend Diana yesterday and a solution seemed more of a dream. 

What I hate the most about the Eastern mentality is their exaggerated sense of self-pride where they are convinced they are superior to all other races. It is this self-pride that may have caused all those wars. It was bad before but what we see nowadays is ridiculous and nauseating.

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

Do people change?

Do people change as they grow up? Ask this question to anyone and your immediate answer would be yes. Theoretically speaking, as a person grows up, events in one's life and problems (usually the case) shape up a person's personality by sharpening the edges and scraping off the childhood spoilt froth. And most people either end up being severely disturbed and insecure or calmer and more mature. This is meant to be the norm.

But honestly speaking, I do not think people change that much. Their reactions to each situation changes but their hearts remain as intact as ever. How do I know?

Well, consider the following situations and see which ones apply to yourself: (note: all real incidents from my surroundings)

1) You and an ex-classmate have always been competing for higher grades, better friends, better personalities, better paid jobs, better future husbands. This feeling of competition will never cease. Everytime this friend gets one step ahead, do you really not care? I don't think so. The jealousy is still there. You will still try to prove yourself in other fields so that no one can compare between you too, but given the chance I'm positive you'd like to remain one step ahead.

2) You are beautiful and successful and come from a good family, but as you look around you, the less-than-average classmates are all either in very stable relationships or hitched and babied or extremely happy. As you question your assets, you cannot help but feel slightly envious from their good fortune.

3) Your child was beaten at a football game by your old friend's child. You've noticed your child has become withdrawn and more insecure. Wouldn't you start disliking this woman and her 'oh so perfect' child like you did when you were younger?

4) You currently hold a very high position at your workplace. One day, one of your worst enemies walks in asking for your help. Sure, you've grown up and it's been ages since those misfortunate incidents, but for a moment, wouldn't you remember the pain that was caused and think to yourself: I could easily refuse to help him/her?

I'm not sure how best to explain my point but I believe very few people change. We still hate, love, envy, adore, demean, sympathize in the same way. Yet as we grow older, we only react differently, meaning more in control. The essence of our hearts remains the same. And I believe the reason for this is that most of us find it hard both to forgive and to forget past events. This leads us to remain bitter.

I look at myself and re-calculate yesterday's event. I bumped into an ex-classmate I have not seen since 10 years. Her reaction towards me was the same, cold, distant, and wary. I thought to myself: boy, it's been eons, and we're all grown up now. I myself still dislike her, and only greeted her out of courtesy and decent manners. This triggered the question; do people change? Can they REALLY change?
I am still confused,
Till we meet again,
Sedeso

Update

1) Deadline is tomorrow. I'm running around trying to put things together. I truly hope the outcome is greater than expected. Well, I saw the horses so far and they were stunning.

2) I am jealous. Signor is taking the missus to the Lake District. I've suggested a few good hotels and I am so jealous because I want to travel too. What better company could there be? It's stunning out there and here's the proof.

3) There's an odd emptiness in me. As if my life puzzle is missing a few pieces. I hope things sort themselves out in the next 3 months. Things are pretty stable yet boring and I am not sure whether to be thankful for my current situation or not.

4) Wondering why I have so many acquaintances yet so few true friends.

5) Spending time away from my family has its benefits. One gets the feeling of being an only child but with fewer fights and sibling rivalry to be occupied with, no wonder life gets too boring and only children are mentally, and emotionally unstable.

6) I need a new wardrobe and I feel like a change in style. I am so bored of even the new things I've bought.

7) But most important of all, I need a vacation. I am at a stage in my life where I am ready to travel solo, discover new places and enjoy my time. A travel companion would be good but not vital. I want to visit the east, and take a variety of short courses all over the world. I am ready for such experiences and I know that I will be content with my own company.

I wonder what the future holds for me (Fast FFW April, 2010: and I'm still wondering).

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

Toilette Ettiquette

A toilet is a room of convenience yet normal rules of conversation cannot be carried out in it. And it differs from men to women since women use it more for their social skills. With men its as follows: go in, get it done, avoid eye contact at all costs wash up and leave.

Now with the female species its a totally different scenario.

Go in, and check out whose in the toilette. If its an acquaintance hug, kiss and have a short chit chat; comment on each others outfits and ask where she bought anything from; go to cubicle, finish up, wash up and borrow anyone's makeup to complete final touches to your face; ask random strange women and toilet attendant how you look; toilet attendants answer is you look fab no matter how trashy you really look like; spend the next half hour telling her about your life story, your miserable childhood, your break-ups and the horrible men you've met; all this while the toilet attendant-turned- psychiatrist for the moment is tapping her fingers, dreaming of the huge tip you MIGHT give her, and cursing you when instead of a tip, you give her a hug and leave the toilette, for she has kids to feed and a drug-dependent partner whose is no good for nothing. all this while giving a final glance to your Jimmy Choos, Rolex, and Vertu phone as you leave.

Or perhaps the woman will go into the toilette to freshen up, see a complete stranger, give her an all-over disgusted look (since she looks better), freshen up your make-up without uttering a single word, is it proper to ask her if you look fine? Of course not. Leave and slam the door behind oneself.

Then, come the children who GO with their parents and I personally find it disgusting.

So what to do? Chit Chat? Ignore?

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

An amazing persona

What makes a person loveable? What qualities change a person from simply being: oh yeah him, oh her into an adorable: I love him/her!! Although there are few of them, nobody utters a bad word about them, nobody hates them, nobody is jealous of them, everybody wants to be their friend, everybody knows they can be trusted. One person of such character is a close friend of mine, whom we'll call Signor.  Signor went to my school but was a few years ahead.

Signor is amazing because:

1) He is the most respectable person I have ever met. Never swears, NEVER backstabs, always uses proper language, will not interrupt, will listen, will apologize for interrupting you, will never look below your neck (if you're a lady), will respect you no matter who you are.

2) He is honest, never lies and believes you, and never doubts you.

3) He is encouraging. He believes in all his friends and their potential and pushes them to become better people. He only sees the good in people and takes an interest in what they like.

4) He is very decent. Doesn't drink, doesn't gamble, doesn't SIN, doesn't cheat on his loved ones.

5) He is always there for his friends, picking them up when they have fallen into depression, cheering them up, solving their problems and lending them his ears, and opening his big heart.

6) He is humble, not caring about those temporary riches of the world, able to afford it all, and obtaining it all yet never flaunting it or acting superior.

7) He is patient, in his words, promises, actions, and expectations, and this quality in him is multiplied.

8) He is a generally happy person, grateful for what he has, enjoying life to the fullest, always smiling, and spreading this positive energy which I have never seen in anyone else.

Plus, he's a cutie pie.

Every time I look at him or speak to him, I thank the Lord for having met this wonderful person and him becoming one of my closest friends. I envy his wife and hope she realizes how lucky she is.  She is probably amazing too for she has attracted him into her reality.  May God bless them both.

But most important of all, I hope that I never take those words back.
Till we meet again,
Sedeso