Shopaholic re-defined

Do I consider myself to be a shopaholic? Absolutely NOT. True, I buy most of what my heart desires but I carefully consider each and every item before taking it to the till and flashing my debit card at the shop assistant. I will only buy the items I am sure of using, and I will only buy items that are weird and make me look fantabulous. And lately, I ask myself before every purchase: Will I get depressed if I don't get this? Is it vital? Do I have anything similar?

Bought tons yesterday and I feel slightly guilty since I'm supposed to be saving for my coming trip and the car. Arrgghh, okay okay, I'll just balance and control myself for the rest of the month. Let's just hope something is left to go into my savings by the end of the month.

And I just found out yesterday that the heart-throb Julian McMohan is in a movie with Ms. bullock called premonition. That's got must see written all over it.

 

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

What was!

We started off as good friends, sharing our lunches on the school bus. We belonged to different years and different backgrounds. I always knew she had a civil tongue and was a bit of a bully but liked the fact that she was on my side.

You see, when we're younger, we are so insecure with ourselves, always trying to hang around the strong ones or the cooler ones. Little do we know, that for those cool ones, that's the best they'll ever be. And if there was a reunion in 10 years time, most of them would be failures or average.

Whereas the 'uncool' ones, will be hits in university. Eccentric was made fun of at school but is what makes you popular once you start university. I always say to my friends: I wish I could back to those hormonal teenage years with my current confidence to show them a piece or 2. The reply is always: you would never have become the person you are proud of today had you not gone through all that agony in the first place.

Coming back to my story with that girl, we hit a rough spot and started hating and bitching about each other behind each other's back. I despised her so much for a long time.

I bumped into her 2 days ago, was shocked for the initial seconds but decided to go over and say hello. I guess she wasn't sure what to do because she stood there motionless for the first few seconds, then once she saw my reaction moved towards me. We embraced and it was uncomfortable for the first 10 seconds only, then it was fine. The conversation eased and it was nice chatting with her.

We even swapped numbers.

Amazing, what once was a hatred relationship, might go back to being just fine.

And this is what I aspire to happen with all the other people. One by one, I am coming across people from my past life whom I had issues with, and although some nasty and others slightly bitter, I am facing my demons one by one and the problems are somehow resolving. And it seems like La Vache is also part of the universe's plan.

Again, I think to myself, everything happens for a reason and GOD has a plan.

I leave you with some delicious takeout pizza:

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

Pourquoi?

For the millionth time, I question myself about a certain issue. 90% of me believes there is nothing wrong with this issue. Yet others around me make me doubt myself.

I question myself in this: Is it so wrong to love my inner-self so much and be proud of it?

My guess is: ofcourse not, don't be foolish.

Yet, those insecure people around me, seem to want to bring me down with them and join their depression.

Everytime I hum a song whilst working I get weird looks and questions about whether I am in Love or not.

If I walk through the corridors, with a huge smile on my face, again I am considered a complete weirdo, or maybe even high.

Let me live please, because life is beautiful. Don't think that I have all I want, non, but I appreciate what I have and I try to make the most of it.

Hoping to watch soon:

Harry Potter V <=== I love it. 

Becoming Jane <=== about Jane Austin. 

The Count of Monte Cristo <=== because it's a classic. 

Moliere <=== I bet I'm going to love it. 

Y tu mama tambien <=== I never caught it on screen. 

Volver <=== I missed this one too. 

The Importance of Being Ernest <=== It's got Colin Firth in it. 

Till we meet again, 

Sedeso

Hot Man Q

I have a childhood friend Zach who has grown and morphed into a Greek god. He tells the sexist of all jokes and tends to have a sleazy overall attitude. He, like Joey Tribbiani, is able to sexualize everything, all remarks, every conversation.  That's just who he is and it never bothered me much.

Every once in awhile, when I'm feeling really low and need an instant lift, forget retail therapy, this dude does it for me. He'll pick me up, take me to the fanciest hotel where we'll just hang out and chat. He'll smoke his Cuban cigars, tell me about the many girls in his life, pay me a few compliments and overall cheer me up. I noticed that it has become a ritual for me to say this as soon as we sit down: I really needed to see a good-looking face today.

Think about it, why do good-looking people have this effect on us? A smile or compliment from a total hottie totally makes our days. How come?

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

Never give up

I wanted to share this story:

One day I decided to quit...
I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality... I wanted to quit my life.
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God. "God", I asked, "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"
His answer surprised me..."Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
"Yes", replied. "When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds,
I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor.
Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.
In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo.
He said. "In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit.
In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed.
I would not quit." He said.” Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth.
Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant...
But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.

It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.

I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."

He asked me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots"?

"I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you."

"Don't compare yourself to others." He said.

"The bamboo had a different Purpose than the fern.

Yet they both make the forest beautiful."

"Your time will come", God said to me. "You will rise high"

"How high should I rise?" I asked.

"How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.

"As high as it can?" I questioned.

"Yes." He said, “Give me glory by rising as high as you can."
I left the forest and brought back this story. I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.

Never, Never, Never Give up.
For the prayer is not an option but an opportunity. Don't tell the Lord how big the problem is; tell the problem how Great the Lord is.

---------------------------------------------------

Raise your hands to those of you who have friends but haven't doubted about their genuinity as friends. Are they faking their friendship with me just to get what they want? Do they really like me for who I really am? How does one know? They say that the rope of lies is short (proverb) and that the truth will eventually come out but what should one do in the meantime and how much can you trust them?

This is why I look around me and want to tell the few great friends I have how much I absolutely love them: Naadi, Wildcat, Mimi, Carlito, Susu, Aigerem, Hudderz <=== you guys mean the world to me.

Coveted item du jour:

this Fendi wallet.

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

4 thingies

Today I learnt that:

1. Pure Arabian Horses are slimmer, leaner and more sleek.

2. Thourough-breeds tend to have stars on their forheads and more pointy ears.

3. There are 4 types of people:
Win- Win: those who will help themselves and you too, those who want others to succeed alongside themselves,
Win-Lose: those who will climb to the top at your expense,
Lose-Win: Those who will foolishly sacrifice everything to please others
Lose-Lose: those who care about nada and have no ambition.

4. There are 3 types of inner selves:
The fatherly persona
The Mature persona
The child persona, and I guess I am a mixture 20% fatherly and 80% child.

Too much to say but nothing is popping into my head right now.
Till I remember,
Sedeso

Mature enough?

Inspo look
__________________________

I met an older girl in March 2003, during our Madrid trip.

I shall never forget her as long as I live for 2 reasons:

1) She was a shorter, tanned version of Andie McDowell. Same hair too.

2) She told me about the man she loved. She has dated so many of the rich and famous, but the one she fell in love with was a backpacker: hairy, smelly, Hippy shirts, DocMartins, with very few worldly possessions. I remember her well because after this story she told me: If you're still falling for guys based hugely on their looks and status, then you're not mature enough to be in a relationship in the first place.

I believed in what she told me so much. And have paid close attention to my choices in potential beau's over the years. I am happy to say that I am a less superficial person when it comes to these choices now. I have a lot more work to do but I'm heading in the right direction. Not quiet there yet but I will choose the right person soon enough.

Till we meet again,

Sedeso

Thank you Ms. Byrne

A positive thought will raise you to the heavens and enable you to fly. I negative thought could kill you.

Here's the trend I noticed:

Recently I have been enlightened with this procedure after reading Rhonda Byrnes's bestseller.

The first thought is of something negative. In my case, La Vache being popular. All these thoughts seem to attract similar ones and horrible scenarios start forming in one's head. La Vache being sweeter, La Vache not keeping her mouth shut about me, and similar what-if scenarios with only the worst outcomes. Slowly, your facial muscles cause you to frown. You get sadder and perhaps depressed. These negative thoughts won't leave your head. An invisible dark cloud will form around you. You will start to perspire. It will feel like some huge/heavy burden has been lain on your chest, literally. And because of this dark aura, bad things will happen.

This is why you must try your best to clear your minds and only think positive thoughts.

Apparently, you can change your whole life by the way you think. And I believe this is true. Every time you fall, you must look at the positive side and hopefully your life will truly turn around.

On another note, I guess my pockets have holes in them. Must force myself to save if I intend to splurge on my next trip.

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

My Ipod List

1. California Dreamin (remix Benni Bennasi)

2. Turn Me On, remix by Kevin Little

3. Don't go breaking my heart by Elton John and Cici G

4. Tambourine by Eve

5. Ebony and Ivory by Paul McCartney

6. Aint it funny by JLo

7. Under the Sea

8. Dancando Lambada

9. All I want for Christmas by Mariah Carey

10. Vanessa Mae, Classical Gas

11. Mozart, Fur Elise
12. Mozart, Turkish March
13. Tempted to Touch, Kevin Little

14. Killing Me Softly by the Fugees

15. If you leave me now by Chicago

16. Hard to say I'm sorry by Chicago

17. KT Tunsall, Suddenly I see

18. Pump it by Black Eyed Peas

19. Hey mama by Black Eyed Peas

20. Sultans of Swing by Dire straits

21. More than a woman by Aaliyah

22. I am the one and only by Chesney Hawkes
23. Mundian Ke Bache he by Punjabi MC

24. Son of a Preacher man by Dusty Springfield

25. Tears of a Clown by Dusty Springfield

26. Arthgur's Theme

27. I only Wana Be with you by Dusty Springfield

28. Give it to me By Nelly Furtado and Timbaland

29. Pon De Replay by Rihanna

30. Truth Hurts, Addictive

31. Lahme Song

32. Aint to money by Nina Simone

33. Don't let me be Misunderstood by Nina Simone

34. jenny from the block by JLo

35. Love will keep us together by Neil Sedaka

Took another blogthing test: What movie is your love life like?

Your Love Life is Like Pretty Woman

"I want the fairy tale"

You believe that love is truly blind, unpredictable, and surprising.

Two very different people can easily find true love. At least, that is how it will happen when you marry a gorgeous billionaire someday ;-)

Your love style: Sensual and flirty

Your Hollywood Ending Will Be: Surprisingly happy

Voyeur

Had a sleepless night yesterday. Woke up about 3 times not because of nightmares but simply different thoughts. Once it was La Vache, another time it was Shanghai, and the third time I was thinking to myself: GOd must be having a good time watching us all entertain him on this little stage called planet earth. I, the small humble creation, tend to look round me sometimes and find most people's lives amusing. That is why the movie industry will never die.

And this is why I would like to share with you a little from Alexander Pope, the short poet.

From An Essay on Man Epistle II:

Know then thyself, presume not God to scan,
The proper study of mankind is man.
Plac`d on this isthmus of a middle state,
A being darkly wise, and rudely great:
With too much knowledge for the sceptic side,
With too much weakness for the Stoic`s pride,
He hangs between; in doubt to act, or rest;
In doubt to deem himself a God, or beast;
In doubt his mind or body to prefer;
Born but to die, and reas`ning but to err;
Alike in ignorance, his reason such,
Whether he thinks too little or too much:
Chaos of thought and passion, all confus`d;
Still by himself abus`d or disabus`d;
Created half to rise, and half to fall;
Great lord of all things, yet a prey to all;
Sole judge of truth, in endless error hurl`d:
The glory, jest, and riddle of the world! ....etc.

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

The Time of My Life

Think Parick Swayze in Dirty Dancing, practicing that lift in the lake. I do believe now that there is a right time for everything. It's never too late to accomplish your dreams, but certain events fall into specific time zones more nicely.

For example, going to summer camp is a great experience. Between the ages of 11-15, one goes to summer camp with a certain mentality, shyness, alot of insecurities, and so much hope. They leave summer camp with a crush, a few bruises, and a lot of fond memories. What would it feel like going to summer camp at the age of 18 or 26? A totally different experience. When is it best to go? As a teen of course. Is it wrong to go when you're older? Of course not, but part of the magic would be gone.

Let's say getting a Bachelor's for example. It would only feel right when that you go after school and before you get married and form a family. Again, there's nothing wrong with going at a later stage, but the experience would be different. You might not have the energy to party all night and attend lectures early the next morning.

What made me think of this?

There's basically so much I aspire to do, so many courses I want to take, so many languages I want to learn, so many places I hope to visit but one lifetime is no way enough. So every time I look back at the things I've done, the places I've been to, the people I've met, the things I've witnessed, and the mountains I've conquered, I realized that everything will happen when the time is right. I shouldn't rush the future or worry about it because everything will fall in its right time slot. I should just always hope for the best.

So, this is the time of my life to be happy yet conscious, non-conforming yet wise, and hope to acquire more patience. It's all heading in the right direction and I hope it continues to do so.

Till we meet again,

Sedeso

Imitation is the best form of flattery

Some people love to be copied. Trendsetters, they consider themselves to be. But others, like me, hate it.

I like being an original. It's nice knowing that you're different and not a clone of all the other girls: same highlights, same boob job, same nose job, same dress sense etc...

But I must always remember what Oscar Wilde said:

Imitation is the Best Form of Flattery.

Till we meet again,

Sedeso

Compatibility calculator

Him:

1. Above average good-looking
2. Open-minded
3. Intellectual
4. Very well-dressed
5. Interesting
6. Well-spoken
7. Kind
8. Humble
9. Strong
10. Funny
11. Carries a PhD
12. Has lived a huge chunk of his life abroad
13. Well-mannered
14. multilingual
15. cultured
16. Not judgemental
17. Accepting


Her:

1. Very pretty
2. Slim
3. Has a Diploma
4. Bilingual
5. Only vacationed in Europe
6. Normal dress sense
7. Sweet
8. shy
9. respectful
10. show-off
11. not cultured
12. not an intellectual
13. very close-minded
14. Judgemental
15. Not accepting


Me:

1. Multilingual
2. Cultured
3. Preparing for a PhD
4. Distinct fashion sense
5. creative
6. well-spoken
7. well-mannered
8. open-minded
9. Accepting
10. Occasionally judgemental
11. Strong
12. Have lived a huge chunk of my life in different countries
13. Funny
14. Lively (according to everyone I know)

You do the Maths. Calculate the compatibility and tell me, why is he with her and not me?

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

Pathetic

What kind of pathetic society is this? I am so ashamed of some of their beliefs and standards. Reminds me of England until the last century where how good you were was irrelevant compared to what family/name/fortune you married into.

My 2nd cousin removed, has hit the jackpot, according to mother dearest and aunties. She has married well: good breed, pureblood, good money, great name, a very prominent family. Not for a second did they think: perhaps they may never have children; perhaps he drinks, perhaps they will divorce in less than 1 year, perhaps she'll have the worst mother in law, perhaps they will be unhappy.

So she married well. Good for her! (Insert FFWD April 2010: She got the open-minded husband that she wants but is bored at how neglectful he is. He is not the man she dreamed to get)

This fairytale of finding a prince charming and living happily ever after does not exist. A perfect relationship does not exist. Nowadays, it's not just about finding a man to marry, but finding the right person to marry, someone who will accept/ respect and cherish us.

I hate those looks they give me. They never say it but I know they are thinking it: that I shall never be good enough until I marry right. Oh Lord, can't I just have fun in my life? I was so excited about my coming trip, saving every extra penny and sorting out what clothes to wear. Why won't they just let me live each day as it comes? It's my life after all.

I haven't found the right man yet. Big deal. I've got this PhD to worry about for now. If someone nice comes along then great, and if he doesn't, oh well so what. I look around me and see half those married couples living in misery and cheating on each other. It's very very sad. They all got married for the sake of marriage itself, dreaming of the beautiful wedding and not realizing that a married life starts as soon as the last guest leaves the reception and it should last a lifetime.

Stop judging me please. I am really happy in my current single situation. I think? I am happier than any of you could ever imagine.

Coveted item du jour:
this Champagne-colored Guccissima before my next trip.
Till we meet again,
Sedeso

Touchdown

I reversed my negative action and I hope the bad luck/ revenge is forgotten about. I felt good and remained on a high all day. I didn't exactly apologize but I overdid the friendliness, in a sincere way though. I feel forgiven and hope that this is the case. So Kudos to me.

I am still the Queen thought, lol.

Coveted item du jour:

This Tarina Tarantino Hello Kitty Tiara as sported by Miss Hilton. Till we meet again,
Sedeso

Caring or not, here I come!

For those who care:

Big big mistake. I should learn to control my mouth more often. I said something I shouldn't have. Deep down inside I was thinking VACHE VACHE VACHE, je la deteste, je veux la tuer, vraiment. So when dreamy called me to share with me the oh-so good news about Vache, I blurted out what was on my mind. La VACHE'S face was horrified. I did share my fake warmest wishes (notice the oxymoron), but I felt as if destiny had slapped me hard in the face.

First thought: GOD, why are you punishing me.

Second thought: Here we go again!

Third thought: I'm a nasty cow myself, shouldn't have said that. I hope GOD forgives me and doesn't punish me. I hope this doesn't come around back at me.

If someone hurts you, there's a 1/3 chance of forgetting the incident and getting over it. You see, it all depends on the type of shock resistance your mind is programmed to. Some people get over a slap no matter how many times it is repeated. Their minds are programmed to erase the incident and replace it with another memory easily. Lucky are those whose minds are programmed in such a way. They get over breakups, heartaches, and perils easily.

I made a mistake. I felt guilty about it. I normally am never spiteful of others. I have no right to look down on others because just as GOD gave me all these fortunes he can easily take them away from me in a second.

Then I ask myself and I ask you: Are we considered evil if we happily dwell on our enemies' miseries? According to what I know and witness, we all become glad when we find ourselves 'better' than those we despise. It's normal human nature. Remove religion and tradition and we'll all be animals. So tell me, as the third person, would you consider me the bad one?

I sigh, frown, sigh again and remind myself for the gazillionth time: GOD has a plan. And I truly hope it works out for MY benefit.


For those who do not care:

A story dream told me about. I decided to share it with you because I got a constricted throat when I heard it.

((((There once was a woman who was infertile. She went to Moses and requested him to pray to GOD that he blesses her with healthy children. Moses did that and in the middle of his prayers, the angels whispered to him: Her destiny is to remain infertile. Sad, Moses never told her about this revelation. And the poor old woman kept on wishing and hoping for a child to fill her days with joy.

Months passed and Moses saw the woman one day heavily pregnant. Surprised, he went to ask the angels about this incident. The angel's reply was:

Destiny shouted: infertile. The woman's counter shouts in despair were: Lord the Kindest. Her wishes came true. They defied destiny and re-wrote it. ))))

And the moral is: (Only strong prayers can re-write destiny)

Inspire me as I inspire you, please.

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

NLP

Neuro-Linguistic Programming. The most fascinating course I have taken so far. If there's anything that will immensely make a stronger person of me is this course. Its like a few months worth of therapy and life-coaching sessions in less than an hour with a 75% success rate.

Tawafoq, tawafoq, tawafoq, it worked on 4 of the 5 people I tried it on. I felt abit of wizardry and strength go through me. I felt powerful and able to make people trust and like me. Ikky decided to sit with me and chat even though she had tons of work to do. Sweetz relaxed more and offered me all her food during breaktime. My lazy cousin ran to the kitchen the instant I loudly decided I felt like extra ketchup. All this in just the first day. I wonder how magical things will be when this course is over and done with.

To have the power to manipulate other people and affect their behaviour may seem like a dangerous tool but trust me it's not. Telepathy usually works better with positive actions and thoughts, or that's what I've been told.

So, the Evil self within has popped out for a second and decided that she will use these lessons and tricks against La Vache. La Vache will probably be resisting but I shall give it my best shot.

I can imagine it now, the sweet feeling of success when La Vache sees and realizes that no matter how hard she tries, she will never bother me.

As the devil would say: Nyahahahaha !

Okay, so I've been kissing the boss's ass alot lately according to some colleagues. There's nothing wrong with that. If I will be working here for the next 20 years, then I might as well ensure myself a spot at the top. Nothing wrong with being ambitious, is there?

Till we meet again,
Sedeso