Vanity

Isn't she gorgeous?

Today, the vanity in me shall speak :" I wish I were prettier, much much prettier"

Some consider me pretty, others consider me to be gorgeous, but I know for a fact that lookswise, I'm definetely good-looking enough that heads turn wherever I go. But I am greedy and want more. God, please make me more gorgeous, please, please, pretty please.

I should be more specific as to which type of beauty I'd like to be. Honestly, I don't really know. I tend to find a nice feature about others and want it augmented in me.

So lately I've been tantra-ing beauty into myself, using my telepathic powers and you know what? It kinda works. But ofcourse the greed in me wants more and more.

Let's just hope this quest for beauty doesn't take over my life and turn me into the woman who said:

Mirror, mirror on the wall

Whose the fairest amongst all

Lol.

Till we meet again,

Sedeso

H.A.P.P.Y.

Is anyone really as happy as they claim to be? More importantly, what does it fell like to be 'happy'? I think I know.

I know that it takes very little to make 'yours truly' happy.

-Compliments

-Sushi

-Krispy Kreme glazed doughnuts

-New Shoes

-Vibrant Neon Pink Nail varnish

- Mind Your Language Series

-Triumph over an ennemy

- Goodlooking men

-Victorian/Old/ History movies

-Surprise gifts

-A massage

-Spending time with my family

-Going out with my girls

-Being in Londres

- Dinner at 'nice' restaurants

-Waking up with a clear face

-Being and remaining fit

Equally so, it takes even smaller things to make 'yours truly' very upset.

I confess that I am too sensitive and such a cry baby to relieve any tension. I must get over this sensitivity issue. They say what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, and yes I am much stronger and can take on a whole lot more problems and responsibilities but the sensitivity still exists. And I have one of those expressive faces where I can never hide my feelings. Most, if not all, people can differentiate between my upset, angry, teary, happy, ecstatic, bored, worried, annoyed looks. I am unbelievably easy to read and as grateful as I am for having a truthful face and honest personality, sometimes, life puts me in situations where I have to lie and fake and I am useless at such times.

Anyhow, my little sister used to sing along to a videotape we bought from England prepared by an Orphanage, and it went like this:


H.A.P.P.Y.
we are happy why not try
A kiss, a smile throughout the day
Happiness is here to stay

Happiness is not an event, or a proposal. Happiness is not the lottery or a beau and healthy family. Happiness is the journey one takes to reach this goal.

We think that if we landed a great job that we'd be happy but when this job arrives it's average. We think that if we got the proposal we dreamed of we'd be happy but when we get it, we want more.

We think that once we have children we'll be happy but with the crying and late nights, we realize it isn't so.

We think that when our children grow slightly older we'll be happy but their teenage years are very tough.

Happiness is not an incident, but the journey that leads us to the incident.

And once more, for the gazillionth time, I know I will be alright. I know everything will resolve by itself. And I truly wish that I had a little bit more patience as I go along.

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

Sick in my stomach

I feel very bitter and sick in the pit of my stomach and there are so many reasons for this malevolence.

So, what is occupying my mind this much?

1) Imagine you dislike someone immensely and this person wronged you in the past. Imagine the reason you fell out with this person is that someone told them that you said so and so about them. Imagine that you've never met but both sides despise one another. And imagine that this person is both bitchy and very hostile by nature. Now imagine that one day you stumble upon information and photos of this person and they are hotter than you. Way too hot for an average person. Wouldn't you feel just awful? Wouldn't you get jealous? Doesn't matter how hot you think you may have looked in the past, all that confidence is now flushed down the toilet. Don't judge me because you'd feel the exact same way were you in my shoes.

2) Imagine you discover a juicy piece of 'true' gossip about a colleague you dislike but can't use it at all since this 'nasty' colleague knows enough 'juicy' stuff about you to taint your public image for life.

3) Imagine your sworn enemy has what you've always wished for. Now wouldn't that just give you stabbing sharp pains in your heart?

4) Imagine looking at your future and seeing a huge Question mark.

All these added should make anyone feel like throwing up their lunch instantly. Yet, about 10% of me, if not more, knows and believes that no matter what happens, I will be alright and all issues with resolve naturally. I guess this is what's keeping me afloat.

Corrie Ten Boom said about Faith:

Faith is like radar that sees through the fog -- the reality of things at a distance that the human eye cannot see.

Regardless of the methods, I choose to obey my Lord, I have lately become more spiritual, spending time in solitude, contemplating the events surrounding me, connecting, believing, and becoming hopeful in a better, brighter future. I believe, therefore I am and this belief is giving me inner satisfaction at times. I do feel HIS love surrounding me whether I am happy or sad and I know he loves me as I love him.

And I refer to Sebastian's Caribbean Jamboree when they say in a reggae tone: Every little thing is gonna be alright!

Believe and you shall see and reap the reward

Till we meet again,

Sedeso

Encounter with 2 past-lasses

Forgive me, GOD, for I have sinned yet again. Forgive me, God, because I still do not have complete control over my mouth. One bad habit I truly want to get rid of is talking 'negatively' about people behind their backs. I always knew this will be a tough habit to break therefore I always attempted a transition where as soon as I realize I'm talking about someone, not present, I mention the positive points about them.

I sat with 2 lasses from my past, whom I'm still on okay terms with. I felt bad for them, for being seen in public with them, and for the days long gone which I have no control over anymore.

I was and now I am. I am at a different place in my life and I have never been prouder of myself. I look at them with a soft heart. Some people take a little longer to mature while others never do!

To label them slutty, I would be underestimating them. To consider them idiots would be a kind gesture on my behalf.

What annoys me are 2 facts:

1) It's amazing how people cannot seem to live without gossip. They thrive on finding out things about others. They think they are empowered with other's dirty laundry. Oh, how they lead such a sad existence if their solace lies in others' lives.

2) Slutty people try to drag everyone down to their level. So it is true, one bad apple ruins them all. Nobody is an angel, and I do not care what they claim. None of us were created divine unless we were prophets or true angels/soldiers of the Lord. But equally so, not all are as bad as depicted by the scum of the earth. And so that they don't feel too bad about themselves, they accuse decent, chaste people in order to drag them down to the same level.

Anyhows:

Coveted item du jour:

1) This Givori phone.

Till we meet again,

Sedeso

I aced it!

I've done another runner but not for long this time. I'm only away until the weekend.

Have you ever had a perfect day? Perfect as in it started with you being so excited that you had to place a hand on your heart and breathe in slower, just to calm yourself down? And then your day just got better?

Today was truly a great day:

Besides being the Belle of the Ball today, I performed better than expected. I have presented the speech very well and it seems like I worked my magic because every single person afterward was in awe. I had bigshot professors walk up to me and say I did brilliantly and should become a TV presenter. Others kept on telling me I looked beautiful on that stage. I was receiving text messages and phone calls from people who weren't there within a half-hour of the event congratulating me on my huge success and delivery.

Of course, I'm on a high.

Thank you, GOD, for giving me the strength and confidence to ace this event. And I am looking forward to more successes.

Till we meet again,

Sedeso

The Cow

Aww, my lovelies. I've missed you all and I miss hurting your ears, whining, complaining, bugging you all and smothering you with an emotional overdose. So where shall I start? Well let's move backwards, it'll be easier to remember it this way.

People change somehow but from what I've noticed, the majority change to the worst. They all get big-headed instead of humble. I bumped into an old school friend and first she pretended not to see me, then she called someone and whispered into her phone. Then she looked at me, gave me a dirty head to toe look and turned away. Talk about giving attitude. Well, I decided to be the bigger, better person and walked over to say hello. But you won't believe what that cow did. Yes, cow, I'm not being a bitch, I'm being truthful. If you're well-rounded and white with black hair to me you might as well be cow (especially if I dislike you). So, the cow saw me walking towards her, and looked to the closest person to her left and chatted to her for about 1min 20secs.

I could've walked away right then, right there, but again, I decided to turn the situation to my advantage and waited, hoping that would embarrass her and she'd force herself to say hello. The more I bump into her and say hello, the more she'll get used to it.

No, no, No, I am not trying to please people. I'm trying to come across as: I am proud of myself and I have nothing to hide. I will not walk in shame but shall look up, head high, smile across my face and sheer bliss emanating from my soul!!

So, I chat to the cow, pretend all is peaches and strawberries and if she can be fake, well, I can't be fake but I can be sincere fake as in: I hate you but I don't care about you and I only want to be nice coz I am nice . You know what I mean, right?

Oh well, believe me when I say, I walked away feeling like a bigger person. That's another demon from the past I've battled and conquered. Most of you may not completely understand but I add this to my list of achievements and I am so proud of myself, so a pat on my back.

Veni, Vetti, Veci
I came, I saw, I conquered

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

The Garden

نصيحة متفائل: لماذا تدمن التفكير و الله ولي التدبير

ولماذا القلق من المجهول وكل شيء عند الله
معلوم
اطمئن

فانت في عين الله الحفيظ

كفالته بلا حدود

وعطاياه لا تمنعها سدود

قل بقلبك: الله معي الله ناظر الي شاهد علي

تعش مرتاحا وعند الله محفوظ

I had a lovely day today. Walked in the garden with my grandad and the weather was absolutely gorgeous. It was very therapeutic to smell the fresh air and chat with him about what plants he's growing and weeding.

He hated those flowers
He planted the rocket leaves himself

Not just any rose. Not even close enough to the one Jesse Metcalf gave Eva Longorio. But, A single perfect deep pink rose.

Till we meet again.
Sedeso

Weekend away

I went away for a few days to B town and instead of relaxing, I was out all day trying to make the most of my time and came back with even bigger dark circles around my eyes. It's okay because I feel great. This weekend away cheered me up and gave me a short high. I hope it holds itself until Jan when I fly again to my beloved Londres (",)

From the trip:

1) The coastline

2) A gorgeous sunset at the resort 3) The mall
4)The best pistachio crème Brule
Till we meet again,

Sedeso

Childish Rhymes

Creative, Very Very Very: Alice in Wonderland Theme

___________________________

As children, we enjoyed both composing and singing funny rhymes such as:

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
When God gave brains,
Where the Hell were you?

or

Jingle Bells
Batman smells
Robin saves the day
Lost his pants
In France
and found them in Bombay
Heyy!

or

Me no money, Me no care
Me go marry a millionaire
if he cry, me no die
me go marry another guy!


We thought we were so cool those days. What about you? Any funny rhymes do you remember from your childhood?

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

Public humiliation

_________________________________

I've had a wonderful mini-break in the Far East and I am glad I forced myself to take the time off. I'll spare you the details until a further post because today I wish to discuss with you all public humiliation.

What spurred this topic was a foolish decision I made, recklessly when I bumped into Fonzy at a local shopping mall. The flashing cameras, high mic's and foreign TV crew excited me and woosh, there I was blabbering to them as if I was sat there in a cafe with my full cream chino, chatting away the afternoon to my closest girlfriends. A 3-hour conversation with the crew turned into 20 seconds on a documentary and as I've told myself a million times before, never trust the media, but seems like I never learn because those 20 seconds only pick up on the most negative remarks I made. Let alone, that I spoke the most positively about the Middle Eastern situation, I was made into a baboon. Anyhows, it's done now, aired in foreign countries and I just hope, nobody I know sees it.

I'm watching Oprah as I type this and why do I 'think' that I may have some symptoms of Bipolar disease?

Inspo of the day:

Till we meet again,
Sedeso