The weekend

I woke up too late this morning. Ahem, actually I woke up past midday. That's okay seeing as I slept at 4am last night. I looked at my wall clock and realized that its a little before day break and God is listening to whomever is awake. So, I asked for wealth of course.

______________________________

Anyhow, I visited my grandparent and before entering I saw something as the door was left ajar.  I saw my grandfather throw his cap off, bend down, cup my grandmother's face and smack, give her a big kiss. If this is not true love then I do not know what it.

______________________________

Went with my friends the sisters H&R to JBR and it was okay. I dislike going to common, crowded places, especially ones with too many boys. I know they like it and get thrilled with the prospect of some 'action/flirting' taking place. Don't get me wrong. Ive never seen them do anything infront of me, but seldom have I seen them exchange looks with boys as we passed them or the smirk on their faces when the boys complimented or said something silly. Walked the whole corniche area and finally settled on dinner at scoozi, which btw, isn't as good as the one in Festival City.

But at least we got to have drinks at the Fashion Lounge. Mine was the Rose Velvet and it tasted great.Till we meet again,

Sedeso

Beating The Blues

^ Wishlist item.

And. Looovvviiing this look. So me!!

Regardless of how much I rant in this hollow blog, or how disturbed you all get by the echoes of my curses, weeps and threats, I know that deep inside of me lies a glowing gravity-free ball of hope. It has spikes, is pink with a blue flame. Or could I be sensing my fertility ball.

I do feel down like everyone else and more frequently now, but if you haven't noticed it yet, I always pick myself up and end up finding ways to cheer yours truly.

I went out with N today who is also suffering from her job. And she really is feeling down.

I am 2 months away from turning 28. I feel younger though. And I believe in a better tomorrow, regardless of the current dark clouds around me since clouds move onto other pastures.

Decor of the Day:

Till we meet again,

Sedeso

PS: I watched Confessions of a Shopaholic and btw, Isla Fisher was wrong for the role.

Hottie the ASS

How come I conflict with so many people? Why do I attract people who always clash with me? Am I such a trouble maker? Is it me? Could it really be me who causes all these conflicts?

That silly ex-boss. The one who disrespected me in front of my ex-colleagues has a supporter now, hottie. I was too shocked to even say anything when he sat in the Lawyer's defending her actions and justifying them too. I am appalled at the injustice.

I wish, I truly wish I had a powerful persona in my life once again. If for nothing other than protecting me and being a rock. I am so tired of being strong for myself. I feel drained all the time. I want to feel as safe as I did when I was with Agent 009.

From Luella.
_________________
Sexy Voice passed by me today and didn't even bother looking my way. He will chat me up next time. Today, I am sure I was emanating negative vibes. Perhaps next time.

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

Their hormones

Cupcake Galore:_________________________________

I had my first mid-term today and it was tougher than what I thought it would be. Consumer Behaviour is meant to be my strength, but the way this exam went, I wonder what grade I will get?

I sat in the canteen, munching on a yummy tabouleh and chicken shawarma with gherkins. To my surprise, I saw 2 youngsters flirting whilst enjoying their meal. They were too tactile and I found myself feeling very very old.

Then I went off to the library and it was the scenario all over again. Undergrads of every nationality were all over each other, even the veiled ones.  The students were pumping too many hormones.

Am I really getting older? And I really getting colder?
-----------------------------------------

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

Me need more Moola

I've been calculating my income over and over again. Thanks to my educational commitments, I don't think I'll be able to travel till mid-2010. That's not very positive news. But I have a year to save for it and a big chunk of my loans will be paid.

Also, Wildcat and Sehrou are coming to visit first week of May, so that will feel like a vacation. Can't wait.

Or I could win the lottery! You never know what could happen, and I'm the one still believing in miracles. [insert FFWD: May 2010: You did get some sort of Lottery money eventually didn't you babe?]

____________________________

Decor Inspo of the Day:
Till we meet again,

Sedeso

Stop, in the Name of Love

From other blogs:_______________________________

....Before you break my heart ,.....a la Supremes....

Beautiful face. ===>>>

اللي يبينا عيت النفس تبغيه واللي نبيه عيا البخت لا يجيبه

________________________

My aunt called me to her room and forced me to give some money to charity. As I handed her the money, she reminded me to wish upon my charity. I was on the verge of wishing for a partner, when I stopped myself. I am so tired of asking for something that seems to be impossible. I am fed up of waiting for this soulmate/ partner. So instead, I asked for wealth. Atleast this wish should be easy to fulfill, right God?

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Others stay for awhile and leave footprints in our hearts. And we are never ever the same again. (Bondiyah)

Happy Valentine's day my amigos.

Till we meet again,

Sedeso

Shock of my life

My blog is for a different purpose but I will spill my heart out.

A relative of mine was lured and raped yesterday.

He was ugly and smelly and his private parts were dark, yuck. He even got the workers on his farm to share the bounty.

I am shivering and feel the weight of the world on my shoulders, literally. My eyes both hurt and sting and my muscles are aching. Something is pulling me downwards and if there was a soft ground around me I would have collapsed.

I am shocked.

How would you feel?

There are some sick, sick people out there. Those people deserve to be burned at stake.

How could such an incident happen at a time where prostitution is a norm and having a personal therapist is un-costly and a must?

I would always read about such things in the newspapers and pray to God that my loved ones are kept safe.

Makes me realise how blessed and protected I have been my whole life, especially during my years living abroad between different European cities.

And they ask how come I have so many issues with men?

________________________

What do you think of the above table?

Till we meet again,

Sedeso

Lettre a Dieu

Dear God,

How could you allow me to have a lick of the ice cream, only to take it back and tell me I can never ever have anymore?

Why do you have to be cruel?

I passed by the house today.

I cried salty tears on my way back. But now I stopped. I don't miss him. I miss what he represented: near-perfection. Nearly everything I ever wanted in a partner and still do.

I will be passing by that house twice a week until I graduate. I cannot believe it's been 5 years exactly. It felt so surreal then. It's only now that I realize how fortunate I was back then for having had crossed paths with him.

I'm glad we met.

And it is somehow better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

I wonder what you have in store for me.

I don't know what to do with my life. But I do know that I hope to find a partner to share it with.

I will be turning 28 soon. The 7 year prophecy should have happened by now.

Most people tell me I shouldn't live in a fantasy. Alright, I won't. I want to live in a beautiful, blissful world though, that resembles a fantasy .

A confused Sedeso.
____________________________

Decor of the Day:(from Mae Brunken)

Till we meet again,

Sedeso

PS: I truly believe, at this moment in time that I unknowingly started this blog as a self-healing process to get over Agent 009 and find meaning in my life. When God, when?

Another thing I do not get....

Gift-Wrapping:_______________________________

I am so surprised at how immature some people can be. She's married, has 3 kids, in her mid-thirties yet manages to find the effort and time to tease and bully me around just like a silly school girl.

How pathetic!!!!

Till we meet again,

Sedeso

Missing my baby

My new manly shoes from Top Shop. A great bargain and they're super comfy too.
___________________________
When a girl ties the knot, she really does start a new life, leaving the whole world behind only to be consumed with their new life. Few are those who remain in touch with their friends, especially the single ones. Some keep single friends away for fear of their spouses being attracted to them. My darlings, it is called insecurity.

I was very upset and slightly agitated because my bestie has a life of her own now. She's not one of those insecure ones but has no time for anyone other than her hubby and baby.

I long for those days when she was still single and we'd have week-long sleepovers. Why do things have to change? Why does life pass by so quickly? Why is life whizzing by too fast that no one is enjoying any bit of it?

If I could turn back time...... I'd be 18 again and would start university all over again. I'd play it right, stress less and have much more fun.
___________________
Coveted item du jour:
Craving Du Jour:
Till we meet again, 

Sedeso

Toledo

The breath-taking view of Toledo. ( طليطة)I took similar shots when I was there back in 2003.

I loved Toledo. I remember walking the narrow streets, loving it all taking it all in in case I never went back again, but wishing I had someone to share it with. Mixed feelings, that's what it was. I was in awe of the beauty of my surroundings but felt soooo lonely at the same time. So many of my silly actions could have been avoided had there been an emotional rock next to me. Someone to support me.

This is why, its so good to be back home and surrounded by my family.

I hate being companionless at any location remotely-romantic.

Also, I wonder what might happen in my grave and how lonely I will be there. The mere thought of this makes me tearful. This is why I must read the holy book as preparation for my after-life. I have been told that the words of the holy book will illuminate a person's grave and keep it warm until Judgement Day.

Dear God. Please keep me surrounded by my loved ones, always.

Till we meet again,

Sedeso

A feeling of shame

I shouldn't be saying this but I will: Of the few things I am ashamed of, I'd have to add my father. Regardless of the fact that I was always his Princess until the past few years, extreme nature is not the problem. I wish he was rich. At least that would have covered a lot of his flaws.

Does this make me a bad person? [insert FFWD: May 2010: But deep down inside, you love your father, the person.]
_________________________
Work was fine. I should keep to myself and stay neutral with everyone, at least while this mega-project is still going on.
__________________________
My love life is still non-existent. I thought I was ready for love 3 months ago. How come he hasn't showed up yet? [insert FFWD: May 2010: Be patient my child. Only a little bit left]
__________________________
Loving this look from Byblos:

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

PS: Currently addicted to 90210, 2008 version, simPly lovin it!! (a la McDonalds)