A New Handbag

Oh What Joy. Finally.

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

Yamantak: A Nuisance from the Past

Who would have thought that Yamantak would get married and have a baby?  Not me, because I never saw this day coming.  In my mind, I got hitched before her and Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee.

And looking back, it is true that a fair amount of beauty does not guarantee matrimony.  If anything, it limits a lass's chances.  The 2 prettiest: me and La Vache are still unhitched.

I am not sure if I reacted well or not but I will say this: it was kind of big of her to greet me first.  I would have panicked and ignored her.

I felt so uncomfortable being this close to her.  I couldn't even bring myself to smile.

Ya Allah, explain to me once again why nasty women get hitched before me?  It just doesn't make sense to me.

So I faced another Demon. Great!! Bring 'em on NOT!!!

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Some bathroom / toilet ideas:

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

Interior Design Course

So my interior design course is over and although I didn't benefit as much as I hoped I did learn a few tips and tricks.  I designed this 5 by 8 studio flat.  So atleast I know more than I did before.

And guess what.  The One wants me to give his suite bedroom a makeover.  I'm not too confident about this yet but I am somehow looking forward to it. 

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

Joy In Death?

I woke up in disbelief to the news that an ex-classmate of mine's relative passed away.  My immediate reaction remained the same even a week later when I visited them to pay my respects.  Some of you may be shocked, others will look down on me , but we all know that you may feel the same way had you been in my shoes.  I just wish you'd hold your thoughts and not judge me until you hear my justifications. 

The reaction I had was: content.  I do not wish to use happy because that wouldn't express it best, but an overall sense of fairness came over me. I was content that some sort of justice was served in my opinion (AstaghferAllah).  For a few days I kept repeating to myself: they deserve it, life is finally showing me some fairness.  Nobody gets it all in life, nobody and those people have been given more than their fair share of blessings according to my limited hindsight.

Keep in mind that the girl has not wronged me in a major way, unless she has gossiped behind my back which is actually very insignificant.  She has a general arrogance about her but that is her business, not anyone else's.

I know.  Shocking right?  Who am I to utter such words?  Who am I to judge and talk about fairness?  How have I dared to even think in this way?  What is more shocking to me is that how can a reasonably so-called good person like myself have such demonic thoughts that force her to wish bad on others?  What, within me, is causing such a cruel trail of thoughts.

Even at the funeral, I looked at everyone and everything and thought to myself:  No amount of money you have or status or even popularity will bring your relative back to life. 

But now, I am not worried about my reaction for one reason only.  My awareness of it and the fact that I need to do something about it is enough to know for now.

Actually, you can go ahead and judge if you want.  I don't really care that much.

Lord, please forgive me for my demonic and cruel thoughts. Ya Lord help me cleanse my inner-self and wish well to others, sincerely. 

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Ellen Pompeo's Hollywood Home

Gorgeous home, it is my kinda preferred place to live in.  I guess white walls are the best way to go.
Till we meet again,
Sedeso

Happy New Year 2011

The stakes were up again.  One outing was down and another was underway.  This time I was under greater pressure to arrange a good outing.  L was flying over to celebrate with me only because she heard of my famous fun outings.  A was also coming from Kazak the same day. 

We ended up by the lake, about 12 of us in the freezing weather.  It was fun and freezing.  All went well with the exception of one small incident where S commented on how bossy I am and felt sorry for my poor future kids.  I admit to being bossy but I was very offended.  

But overall, another successful event organized by yours truly.   

At midnight, I did not make any resolutions.  I kept repeating to myself: 2011, surprise me, in a good way.

The One called me about 8ish to check on me, which made me wonder if he was planning any naughty celebration or party.  I was very aware of my paranoia but reminded myself that not I and not anyone can stop a man from doing as he pleases.  So I left it at that.  I got a pic by bb later on of the fire they had in their farm where he was celebrating with his family.  Oh well, life must go on and I wonder how mine will turn out.  Thank you Lord. 

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

What is Happiness?

So after 100 days, can I define happiness?  I will try to the best of my understanding:

Happiness is a feeling. And as a visitor does, it comes and it goes.  Therefore it is not permanent.

When it goes the world appears gloomy, dark, and not worth living in.  But when it appears, a person's life lights up no matter what the location was.  The world appears more vividly colored and the universe reciprocates and mirrors the happiness within in the person's surroundings.

Happiness makes the heart jump for joy, with sheer bliss.  The heart is tickled and the person is elevated.  It is such a high, large pump of endorphins that promises a better tomorrow.  During those happy moments times, all bad is forgotten and hope stands so close by. 

I realized also that happiness is closely related to content.  When one is fully aware of the blessings in their lives, they become grateful and happy for what Allah has given them.  I for instance have been blessed with a lot and I should try to remember that.  And when I am in a state of content and gratefulness, I am happy too, not that level 10 happy, but of a level 7 or 8.   

We think that achieving something would bring us happiness but we are seldom wrong.  This is like the time I presented for the VIP recently.  I thought getting it would bring me such joy but it was only momentary because I felt down the next day.

Towards the end of this project, I can say that I have found a peace that wasn't there before.  Something within me is a lot calmer.

So to me, happiness does not lie in worldly possessions as much as it is found in being in love with a wonderful man.  Certain worldly possessions may add to the feeling of happiness but will never make up for Love. True and Pure Love.

  Happiness, to me, is Love in all its forms.  

At the age of 15, I told a journalist that my ambition in life was to be happy.  I didn't comprehend much back then but this is still my main goal in life.  To be happy and have a meaningful life.

May Allah bless my life with lots of Happiness.

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

Project Happiness: Day 100

This project is over.  It is day 100 and I could not think of a better ending for this project.  Hold on, of course, I could have.  On day 100, if miracles had their way, I would have been signing my marriage certificate to The One.  Sigh, a lass can dream, right?

Anyways, it was one of the most fun outings of the year with my friends where I took complete control over everything.  I guess that's where I got the kick from, organizing the whole thing by myself.

The evening was spent with 9 ladies, where we walked around the alleyways, took lots of pictures, sat in an old restaurant, chatted a lot, made resolutions, played with masks, dined, danced, sang happy birthday, laughed, and bonded.  It was a night that I am sure the ladies will remember for a long long time.

I shall ignore the small mishaps like the food arriving late, the party pooper who left early, the electricity failing, the full house because they are all minute pullbacks compared to how wonderful the evening went.  

From the outing:

Everybody's verdict was: a perfect night, a night of fun that hasn't happened in a long time, an outing so fun that only I could have organized it.

I was happy at the end of the day, very happy because I organized an outing, many people attended, they all had fun, they are all grateful to me and none of them could have organized something better I am sure.  Are these superficial reasons to be happy?  I honestly do not know. 

Lord, for all the joy that I am able to bring to people, please bring it all back to my heart in the form of matrimony to The One. 

Till we meet again,

Sedeso

PS: The Nobleman has disappeared from the scene and I do feel slightly guilty for being so rude to him.  

Project Happiness: Day 99

Day 99 coincided with a Tuesday, just 1 day before the end of the project and 3 days before the end of 2011.  It sure has whizzed by, this project of mine.  But then again, so has my life and all the beauty within it.  So this is a lesson I must keep in mind, always: time passes by so quickly, so I must make the most of it.  How?  Simply by being with myself, living the moment, by being here and now, and being aware of my surroundings.

The highlight may have been shimmy shimmy class, but knowing what I have planned for the next day should keep me excited.  Let's hope all goes very well according to plan.  As I was driving to it I got a call from The One.  There was a lot of small talk and chitchat but what I recall as being sweet was when I told him that had I been a wealthier individual, I would've had a huge party at a 5star hotel and invited everyone to it but since I was on a very limited tight budget.  His reply: "May God grants you your deepest desires".  Funny he should say that because he is what my desire comprises of.      

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Tents for events:

Till we meet again,
Sedeso