Crossroads

Blue furniture:You've reached crossroads in your life. It's time to make a solemn decision to change and stick to it, never to look back again. Sounds easy, doesn't it? Then, how many times, have we made decisions only to back down and go back to the original plan?

So many times in my life, I've made the decision to get rid of certain 'useless' people, those who will harm me more than they will help me (especially the ones with big mouths, useless I tell you)!. But then, time passes and I find myself not minding them being back in my life, only to regret the decision shortly afterwards. In my case, I have proven yet again that most of my actions are heart-driven. I haven't reached the stage of making decisions solely using my mind. This is just a small example.

So, tell me, what was the last decision that you made and didn't stick to?

PS: I seem to have left my touch on Wildcat, even her family have noticed. I'm glad it's all positive and I hope it helps her immensely in matrimony. I've been nicknamed plenty for my ability to help others improve themselves: Grandma, Agony aunt, My spiritual teacher..etc. I should turn these skills and use them on myself.

Till we meet again,

Sedeso

Watch what you say!

How careful are we supposed to be when it comes to dealing with others?

A work colleague approached me yesterday to advise me on my general behavior. Apparently, I am too innocent and should watch out because this world is filled with liars, hypocrites, and jealous beings. It took me a while and I still didn't have a clue what she was talking about. I asked her to give me a few examples.

"Don't tell people every time you go out to catch a movie. They will wonder where your parents are and how come you are always out till late".

I go to the movies once a week and I'm usually home by 10 (latest). I start work very early so I can't afford to sleep late.

"Don't tell others your aunt is getting a divorce"

But, everyone already knows that. It's not something you can hide.

" Don't show too much of your hair, people will assume all sorts of things about how liberated you are"

But, isn't covering up a personal choice? Plus, I am quiet liberal and no-one has the right to say anything about it.

So now I am expected to watch every word I say so that others don't start assuming things about me? (*sigh*) You know what, I really don't care anymore. I know I'm polite and decent and nothing else should matter.

Also:

It's Su's birthday on the 3rd. I wish I could be there with her. I miss my girls terribly. All I can do is plan for our next reunion.

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Inspiration du jour: (Givenchy)

Till we meet again,

Sedeso

Childish Tantrum

I don't want her to come work with us.
I don't want her to compete with me, EVER!
I seriously don't.

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Till we meet again,
Sedeso

Mais, non!

I thought she wasn't interested in working here but I saw her at work again. One of my worst enemies might be joining my workforce. Interesting, non?

I always imagined such a moment and always assumed that the next time I saw her, I would be filled with hatred and would actually want to slap her. But I didn't feel that way at all. The whole time I was thinking to myself: It sure is a small world, what on earth is she doing here?

I admit I did panic abit and part of me hopes that she ends up working elsewhere. But the world works in mysterious ways and only HE knows what's best.

Madre joked and said: you never know. You girls may become best friends <=== I don't want to be negative, but I will simply leave it all in the hands of the LORD. On another note, I am loving this Cavalli Kaftan.

Till we meet again,

Sedeso

In the longterm...

From my little experience in life, I have learnt that

1) change must start from within
2) you musn't change for anyone but yourself

In the past 2 years, my main resolution year by year was to become a better person and allow my inner-self to grow. I do not specifically mean in a religious way. But in every way.

I want to become a more forgiving person.
I want to become more of an intellect
I want to become even more well-behaved and polite
I want to become a kinder person
I want to become someone who minds her own business
I want to become a more GIVING person
I want to become more knowledgeable and strong in my religion
I want to remain fit
I want to have more contagious smiles
I want to keep maintain a closely-knit family
I want to become friends only with the right people (those who will make me a better person)
I want to get rid of bitterness and jealousy (really)

In a few words, I hope to grow into a better person. Into a self-content person for this is a good way of finding inner-peace.

Now I haven't been all talk but there's been some action too. Here are the changes that I've made and noticed.

- Exercise has become a priority in my life and I'm loving it.
- I have avoided all the wrong people and gotten rid of a few bad apples.
- I have read alot of self-help books about being self-content.
- I have tried and managed successfully to be more of a diplomat when dealing with people.
- I try to read and learn more.
- I've led a low-profiled existence lately
- I am really trying to worry less and look at the positive side of things.

I am happy. And I hope you are too. I just hope I'm not jinxing myself.
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Black or White:And vintage:
Till we meet again,
Sedeso

Ansari, this one's for you.

What a disappointment, seriously.

Beware:

1) if a man refers to other people by their full names. And know that he will talk about you to other people too. Talking about you behind your back will be as easy as it was when he told you about the others and about their marital status, financial situation, their whole background, and all their sins.

2) if a man talks too much about money and how much everything costs and how much he gets and spends. This only shows how stingy/financially insecure he is.

3) if a man keeps referring to famous people as his friends or acquaintances. Names-dropping shows nothing but insecurity and insignificance.

4) if a man tells you that you're beautiful all the time. He should be interested in more than just your looks.

5) if a man starts calling you honey, babe, my life from the second day he meets you. Whatever happened to getting to know a person really well to find out they're freaks or murderers or safe enough to fall in love with?

6) If a man puts you down for pursuing him. This is the 21st century and women have been liberated for a while now. He should be grateful that you wanted him enough to pursue him.. Otherwise, he's simply not worth it.

7) if the man is of a different background/ ethnicity/ class. These differences will always surface no matter how hard you try to ignore them. And trust me LOVE does not conquer all.

8) if a man is insecure. He will always blame you for his miseries and will try to put you down. This is not healthy.

And here I share with you an inspiring quote.
“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

Rollercoaster ride of a day!

Yesterday was a rollercoaster ride. First I received a text from Wildcat when I woke up about her papou passing away. May he rest in peace. I am so worried about her mother. She's now lost the last living relative of her immediate family. I hope, truly hope that she gets blessed with patience and belief. I hope things get easier on her. I love this lady like a mother and used to get tearful everytime I came back home for summer or winter breaks. All this reminds me of something my father often said: (They lead the way and we follow). May our ending on this earth be peaceful after having lived a long and fulfilling, happy, stable life.

The next step was when I told a father that his newborn child will not lead a normal life. Only the seniors are meant to disclose such information, but he asked as he was leaving and I didn't think twice. The look on his face at that moment just crushed me.

Later on that day, a young boy, no more than 18 I'd say passed by, carrying a tray of chocolates presenting them to everyone. He was gorgeous, perhaps a little pale and slim. I didn't think anything of it until I took a chocolate and asked him what the occasion was. His reply that he was getting married shocked me for 2 reasons. Firstly he seemed too young and innocent. Secondly, he was both disabled and mentally challenged. I felt so happy for him and was about to hug him, shake him up and down and congratulate him my style, but my senses got the better of me and I calmed down. It's great that ill people can lead normal lives.

Till we meet again,

Sedeso

Angry N leaving

I am so jealous of Angry N. She's going to my fave city ever, the city of my homiezz to do an MBA. I've never had enough of that city. There's something about it's air/water that gets you addicted. My girls are all there and I miss them: Wildcat, Sehrou, Lubby, Susu, Meht, Ami, I miss you girls so much. Life on this side of the planet is fairly good but different. I believe there's a reason for me to be here. I believe it was time for me to come back. I believe good things are coming my way (regardless of the little perils/ annoyances showing up all along). I just need to remain positive in the meantime.

Till we meet again,
Sedeso