& The Intimacy

Who knew I'd be able to cum so quickly and so hard with so much ejaculate that I'd wet the bed. Wwowwwee.

I know I have come vaginally because, by the 3rd day of good shagging, I realized if it could be this good, I don't want to masturbate anymore. For a few moments, I realized that a vaginal orgasm is a lot deeper than more satisfying than a clitoral one and I hated the latter. I even yucked it believe it or not.

But what is important is that I was able to relax and be with him in the heat of the moment. Sex sure is better when you are in love.

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

ps: I LOVE him.

A mocking Universe?

Irony is when you get a potential suitor one hour after your beloved gets on a plane to travel.

The funniest thing was my reaction. I didn't panic. I was calm and agreed to meet this suitor (supervised ofcourse) at a public outlet.

Deep down inside, I know that I do not want him, and I have a feeling that I will reject him but it is not wise to reject what the universe is putting in my path. This is why I must try to keep an open mind.

My therapist says that those suitors appeared because matrimony has been on my mind lately.

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

Shaken ego

2 days before my beloved left to Londres, I went crazy and overwhelmed by envy from the singer I posted about before. Her name came up and he repeated how stunning she was. I became very bitter and for the split of a second even considered ending this surreal relationship.

Even though he told me I am his Queen and that no woman will take my place in his heart, my hardened heart refused to calm down and listen to him. But come night fall, all the fear from spending a future alone and fear or regretting not having held onto The One?

The reason for my mad outburst was a comparison I had in my head. You see, to me he is the ultimate male species, imperfect to others but perfect in my eyes. No man even comes near him in my affection. They all are bleurgh in my opinion. I pass by every male species not even paying any attention to them. So why does he not see me the way I see him? Why can I not be the most beautiful woman in his eyes? I've witnessed men fall in love with fat, ugly and deformed women, so surely somebody out there must see me as the epitome of beauty? Non?

I am currently seeing only the middle reflection. What I have to see is the right reflection only.

And don't you dare label me as too demanding and high maintenance because this is the least I could ask for. That the man I am in love with sees me as beautiful.

Now, I will not be totally unreasonable as I know that in order for him to see me as beautiful I must see myself as beautiful. I promise you I am working on that.

I love him but I am slightly worried because I realized lately that I tend to be of the jealous, possessive type. I just hope I get over my insecurities faster than one can spell out Bootylicious!!!

Of course, he proved to be the bigger person of us and laughed my childish behavior away.

Let us just hope that we do not have repeated episodes of jealousy and rage caused by the Eastern singer.

Till we meet again,

Sedeso

The Last Dinner

Modern Simple Bridal Looks ___________________________

________________________

My heart grows fonder each day for The One. <=== A lie.

I am deeply, madly in love with him. Keeping aside my slightly annoying nature and nuisances, this relationship could not be more perfect, unless he slips a ring on my finger and pops the question. This would definitely be the cherry on top. My beloved is leaving to Chicago in 2 days to pursue a higher degree. And for our last dinner, he decided to take me back to where we had our first dinner date: the Iranian restaurant by the river. I was so pissed off for many reasons which include my high expectations of a cadeau, my annoyance at the constant referal to other ladies as beautiful or stunning, his lack of compliments to the outfit that took me hours to put together, and him not showing his affections even though I am sure of their existance. But at the end of the night, I got cash to go and buy myself a laptop as a gift. I felt slightly insulted because he gave me money. I felt cheap. I wish he just bought me the laptop and gift-wrapped it for me. Why does he not understand that I do not take money from men no matter what? I have a family who will never cease to help me out. And I have alot more dignity than he can imagine. I am somehow looking forward for him to leave so I can rest. I don't feel like beautifying myself, not waxing and putting extra effort in my looks. I need a break.

Till we meet again,

Sedeso