Shaken ego

2 days before my beloved left to Londres, I went crazy and overwhelmed by envy from the singer I posted about before. Her name came up and he repeated how stunning she was. I became very bitter and for the split of a second even considered ending this surreal relationship.

Even though he told me I am his Queen and that no woman will take my place in his heart, my hardened heart refused to calm down and listen to him. But come night fall, all the fear from spending a future alone and fear or regretting not having held onto The One?

The reason for my mad outburst was a comparison I had in my head. You see, to me he is the ultimate male species, imperfect to others but perfect in my eyes. No man even comes near him in my affection. They all are bleurgh in my opinion. I pass by every male species not even paying any attention to them. So why does he not see me the way I see him? Why can I not be the most beautiful woman in his eyes? I've witnessed men fall in love with fat, ugly and deformed women, so surely somebody out there must see me as the epitome of beauty? Non?

I am currently seeing only the middle reflection. What I have to see is the right reflection only.

And don't you dare label me as too demanding and high maintenance because this is the least I could ask for. That the man I am in love with sees me as beautiful.

Now, I will not be totally unreasonable as I know that in order for him to see me as beautiful I must see myself as beautiful. I promise you I am working on that.

I love him but I am slightly worried because I realized lately that I tend to be of the jealous, possessive type. I just hope I get over my insecurities faster than one can spell out Bootylicious!!!

Of course, he proved to be the bigger person of us and laughed my childish behavior away.

Let us just hope that we do not have repeated episodes of jealousy and rage caused by the Eastern singer.

Till we meet again,

Sedeso