She let me down

Bondiyah disappointed me once more. Can I refer to it as another disappointment since it is the norm? I was expecting it (unknowingly) but not this soon.

Bondiyah upset me and proved to me yet again that she has deserted our friendship ages ago, even before I paid any attention to the severed ties and cold phone calls. It's very sad that she's been lying all along and feigning her sincereness. Wouldn't you be upset if you realized that you were used, abused, and littered away?

I'm in a dilemma now and will have to find the solution myself. I will have to start from scratch.

It's okay, but I wish, I truly wish that the roles are reversed one day and she comes back missing me like hell, only for me to have moved on and been long gone. [Insert FFWD 2009: Darling who are you kidding? You must learn to move on and stop wasting your dedication and honest emotions on worthless people. The one who truly loves you will never make you cry]

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

Ode to my housemaid

When we are born, we have our destiny written and born with us: how old we will live, when we will marry, how many children we will have, what will kill us, our wealth, our health..etc. Even our status. They say you create your own destiny but I believe there is only so much you can do. What triggered all this?

My maid's mother passed away and my heart ached when I saw her crying her eyes out. It must be so painful, losing someone you love, someone you consider to be your life and soul. Hearing her sobs and thinking, this could have been me, made my eyes so tearful and my throat constricted.

Poor woman, she has left her family to come and work. A stranger in a foreign land being paid peanuts for 18-hour shifts and barely any breaks. She has no friends and rarely goes out in this strange land.

She was born of a lower status and remained illiterate. The only job she could get is being a housemaid. Many dream of riches and start off small and eventually become filthy rich. Others waste their lives in vain and cannot change their poverty-stricken lives no matter what they do. God distributes his wealth amongst his people and he chooses who becomes rich and who remains poor.

I look at those poor people and I think I understand why some are angry and miserable. They want what I want but will never get it. If I were in their shoes, I would feel bitter, very bitter.

But then again, perhaps they are happy. Perhaps they are content with what they have been given. Perhaps they are not as greedy as I am and only care about their afterlives, not this life.

There's a reason God chooses these lives for us, and we do not always see the wiseness in his choice until later on.

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

Forgiveness

Forgiving others is not just a talent, but a great quality with many happy returns. We say we've forgiven others, but half the time we haven't had feelings of bitterness remain. Most remain hurt for a long time until some bigger tragedy comes and replaces the hurt. So, it never goes away but accumulates. No wonder half the people we meet are bitter, depressed, and unhappy.

Sami, I find it very hard to ever forgive you. I thought you were a great friend. How dare you insult me after you have been a guest in my house and eaten with me on the same table.

Yamantaka, I don't think I can ever forgive you or your mother. Because of your jealousy, you've caused more damage than you think.

Tdum & tdee, I've been nothing but nice to you, yet your jealous actions have hurt me so much and made me lose even more.

The Scorpions, please stop. Our friendship ended eons ago and there's no need for any more enemies or hurtful remarks.

The assistants, What did I ever do to you? I still don't get it.

Princess wannabe, I hope that one day you taste your own medicine and I hope that when you do it is bitter.

Barbie wedding crasher, grow up, and stop being so bitter and jealous.

Sal, you redefined the word jerk in all dictionaries.

Mrs. Chubby, you stole what was mine and added insult to injury. Why?

Miss Matt Bling, I can never forgive you. I've been nothing but supportive and helpful and friendly to you. I went out of my way for you and this is the thanks I get. Great.

Not that you care, but I'm finding it very hard to forgive you.  Let's hope I am able to with time, the greatest healer.

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

Gossip guyz/girls

"You're not going to believe what Helen has been up to lately. She's been having threesomes with a father and his son."


"Oh, that Sara, what a slut, sleeping around with a different guy every night"


"Course she's a HO, I've shagged her and I've got the pics to prove it."


"She's easy, trust me on this one"

" Oh my, always going to nudist beaches. Just waiting for an excuse to take off her clothes. Such a cheap person"

"Yeah, I can understand why she pimps herself"

"Don't you dare be seen with her in public, or else people will assume you're a HO too."


Reputation, reputation, reputation. Please leave her alone. She's a human being, not an angel. She's allowed to have made mistakes. She's innocent. It's all gossip. Its all exagerated prose. As if you lot are innocent. As if you have never sinned. And so what if she has sinned. Have you seen her sin with your own eyes? Only the Lord judges. And HE forgives and forgets. He has much more compassion than us mere beings. Learn to mind your own businesses and not judge, as you could end up in her shoes one day.

And remember, she's a human being after all. She could be your mother, sister, wife, daughter, cousin or the woman you love. And life has taught us that when you'll need help, 9 out of 10 times she will rush to be by your side.

Let her live, please. Only the Lord should judge and punish, or else we all would have been creators too, and what an unfair and unjust world that would have been.

I must dedicate this post to that ass Salem who speaks badly about everyone.  He has nothing good to say about anyone. 


Till we meet again,
Sedeso

Heartache by the moonlight

Whatever the incident, we've all been there when we should be falling asleep, but our brains won't stop working and pumping adrenaline. We focus on one specific, usually painful from the past incident, and picture it from 1000 different angles. What if I said this; what if I answered back; what if I backed out; what if I never showed up; what if I slapped her; those what if questions keep you awake and twisting and turning. And the heart starts acheing, and a few tears may stroll down your cheek. It's a horrible feeling because you're exhausted and you're dying to sleep, but the pain just won't go away.

What would you do?

1) Take a strong herbal sleeping pill and attempt to block it all out and go to sleep?

2) Wake up and call your closest companion and cry it all out?

3) Remain in the same position and cry till you crash and fall asleep?

4) Get up, pig out on junk food till you're stuffed then watch soppy/tragic movies and sleep with the sunset?

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

My facts

I sometimes find intimacy repulsive (yuk)

I enjoy literature.

I find pregnancy so scary.

I hate stretch marks.

I hate beer bellies.

I hate carrots.

I have sworn never to fall in love with any man.

I love myself above all.

I standard in attractive men is so high.

I am good at picking out gifts for my friends.

I enjoy popping over to Gloucester Gardens for a cuppa and cake.

I adore wearing jeans all the time.

I am obsessed with exfoliating and moisturizing from head to toe.

I love green salads.

I enjoyed Pride and Prejudice (BBC version) and Dangerous Liaisons.

I love interior design and wish I majored in it.

I am fed up with studying.

I read the newspapers every day.

I always wear ballerina flats.

I get jealous easily.

I love spas.

I enjoy traveling alone so much.

I love discovering new 'hidden' restaurants.

I'm addicted to the internet.

I'm devoted to Nokia.

I can swim but cannot dive.

I enjoy hosting events.

I have never baked a cake and don't know how to.

I hate being bored.




Till we meet again,
Sedeso

A one-man world

People have changed. Nobody cares about others anymore. Nobody lifts a finger to help others. When we cry, there isn't always a shoulder to cry on. When we need help at work, most of our colleagues will either feign a headache or being busy. If advice is needed, usually the wrong advice will be given simply to stop us from becoming more successful.

The world has changed since 1945. Countries got richer; economies prospered, poverty declined, and we have more millionaires than ever. Celebrities have now become the role-models instead of intellectuals. Skinny and anorexic is now the new healthy and anything above a size 10UK is considered fat. Students know less about the history and many drop out of school simply because it's not interesting enough.

It's all money and appearances. If you have the money, you will get places, have friends, and buy yourself a beautiful (fake) body. Everyone will want to become you. And if you're pretty, then more people will want to be seen with you and befriend you.

I've always been the one to get out of my way and help others. I've always enjoyed giving a helping hand. I find it very hard to say NO to anyone who needs me. As a result, I may have become a doormat (fair enough). But what hurts the most is that, when I have problems and look around me, there's barely anyone who is willing to return a favor or simply give a helping hand.

They say you should worry if your close friends are more than what can be counted on one hand. I have close friends and very close friends. I have 1 best friend only. So should I be relaxed?

So the next time I have a problem, I will attempt to solve it myself. It is after all a one-man-world.

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

The signs

How can we tell if a good friend is depressed? What are the signs?

From another source. (www.clinical-depression.co.uk)

Signs of clinical depression:
a. Exhaustion on waking
b . Disrupted sleep, sometimes through upsetting dreams
c . Early morning waking and difficulty getting back to sleep
d . Doing less of what they used to enjoy
e. Difficulty concentrating during the day
f . Improved energy as the day goes on
g . Anxious worrying and intrusive upsetting thoughts
h . Becoming emotional or upset for no particular reason
i . Shortness of temper, or irritability



And here are the symptoms of depression:

1. You feel miserable and sad.
2. You feel exhausted a lot of the time with no energy .
3. You feel as if even the smallest tasks are sometimes impossible.
4. You seldom enjoy the things that you used to enjoy-you may be off sex or food or may 'comfort eat' to excess.
5. You feel very anxious sometimes.
6. You don't want to see people or are scared to be left alone. Social activity may feel hard or impossible.
7. You find it difficult to think clearly.
8.You feel like a failure and/or feel guilty a lot of the time.
9.You feel a burden to others.
10.You sometimes feel that life isn't worth living.
11.You can see no future. There is a loss of hope. You feel all you've ever done is make mistakes and that's all that you ever will do.
12.You feel irritable or angry more than usual.
13.You feel you have no confidence.
14.You spend a lot of time thinking about what has gone wrong, what will go wrong or what is wrong about yourself as a person. You may also feel guilty sometimes about being critical of others (or even thinking critically about them).
15.You feel that life is unfair.
16.You have difficulty sleeping or wake up very early in the morning and can't sleep again. You seem to dream all night long and sometimes have disturbing dreams.
17.You feel that life has/is 'passing you by.'
18.You may have physical aches and pains which appear to have no physical pain, such as back pain.


How many of these can you identify with? If you can tick off more than half, do not worry. Admitting it is the first step. Plus, about 45% of any random population are currently suffering from depression.

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

J'adore Paris

I miss my student days in Paris so much. I miss warm fresh baguettes with chocolate inside. I miss lazing about by the canal and attempting to kayak. I miss the Bahraini boys who always came to my rescue. I miss those lil unknown boutiques and odd fashion finds. I miss the Paris sale season. I miss visiting the Louvre on weekends. I miss those antique bookshops that Sebastian showed us.
Paris, tu me manques beaucoup.

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

Toilet breaks

Why is it that all the important things come up when I'm about to enter the bathroom/toilet? Why is it that I only get important and international calls just as I'm about to go have a shower? What are the chances that my friends will only call when I'm on the toilet? Hmm, I'll call it the "Toilette-Radar", lol.

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

The thrill

I officially drove on a busy street for the first time ever. And it was so scary. I'm still not that excited about driving and getting the driving permit. I guess I would label myself as a CAREFUL, PETRIFIED WOMAN DRIVER!!


Till we meet again,
Sedeso

Yaay, I am finally driving

The Truth hurts

Occasionaly a book comes out that speaks straight to a certain category of consumers and changes their lives. It may inspire them to pursue their dreams. It may help them understand facts. Or it may hit them on the head (BANG) and make them realize what's going wrong in their relationships.

What was my conclusion? Well, I am naive, hhmmm, let's get to the point.... I'm basically a DOORMAT. I've allowed so many people to walk all over me. No wonder we never stayed friends.

A healthy relationship should include mutual respect and trust. No party should take the other forgranted and all should be appreciated. Too many rules encompass the perfect relationship and I believe that maintaining it is the hardest achievement ever.

Back to me, I was hit hard in the face by this recent book and I feel SO ANGRY with myself. How on earth did I tolerate not being respected? Why didn't I see the classic signs? Why did I allow such disgusting behaviour to carry on?

And right now: I hate myself for being such a Doormat.

They say : Old habits die hard. All I hope is that in the future I am more aware of what's going on and under no circumstance tolerate such treatment from anyone, regardless of my affection for them.
Till we meet again,
Sedeso

Tiempo mucho bueno

Spending time with Mimi sure is the best. Roaming a shopping mall, checking out new furniture, giggling over ice cream, checking out the fitness in the scene, taking ages in the changing rooms, talking about the future, and attempting to solve each other's problems, this is what it all comes down to. But the memories keep me going for a very long time afterward. One is truly blessed to find a true friend. May this friendship prosper and last forever.

_________________________
Till we meet again,
Sedeso

Why Men Marry Bitches

An amazing read and very straight to the point. In the worst case scenario, even if the advice in this book is not beneficial to you, it will in no way harm you. So here are my fave tips to share:

1. He doesn't marry a woman who is perfect, he marries the woman who is interesting.

2. When a woman is trying too hard, a man will usually test to see how hard she's willing to work for it. He may tell you on a second date that he likes red toenail polish or that he likes a particular item of clothing. If you immediately begin to work to be what he wants, it lessens his respect.

3. When a man cannot figure out where your insecurities are, you are no longer readable. That's when he doesn't have 100% hold on you, and he has to put his share to win you over, keep your interest and maintain the relationship.

4. When a man sees you wearing very revealing clothes, he'll usually assume you don't have anything else going on for you.

5. Men are extremely insecure about how many other lovers you've had. Anything more than what can be counted on one hand is too many.

6. You do not have to be whatever he wants you to be. Just because he's Italian, doesn't mean you have to cook him plates of pasta and pizzas. Just because he likes cars does not mean you have to learn all about them. Be yourself: It is better to be disliked for who you are than to be loved for who you're not.

7. The fastest way to become boring to a man is to do as you're told.

8. When a woman rushes in too quickly, a man will assume she is in love with a fantasy or the idea of having a relationship. He wants to feel like he won a girl who isn't easily obtained.

9. Don't ever mention the word Commitment. The less you say about it, the closer you are to getting one.

10. Let him become suspicious that other men are pursuing you. It is good for him to wonder a little. But you should never talk about other men directly.

11. You want to figure out his pattern but don't let him figure out yours. Don't answer his phonecalls 100% of them time, and don't always call him back the same instant. He shouldn't feel he could reach you any time or at predictable times of the day.
Hope these tips are useful girls.

Till we meet again,

Sedeso