There's a good enough reason why I stopped listening to Love Music. It's my soppy extra-sensitive nature that tears up at the slightest figment of emotion. And with all the emotional fiesta going on inside of me as I venture onto this funny road of self-discovery, the last thing I should be doing is watching a romantic flick that will unleash the water floods and prevent me from a good night's sleep.
And
that's exactly what I did. Although my eyes couldn't remain open anymore, I was forcing them to watch Ashley Judd and Hugh Jackman's "Somebody like you". I cried because at some points along the plotline I identified with the heroine and at other times I cried even more because like the other 40 million women on this planet, I do want her to find 'true love', the stuff of fairy tales.
And
I wondered. Again, for the umpteenth million times. How does it happen? How do people meet, fall in love with each other equally and decide that they'd like to spend the rest of their lives together in harmony? (Note: if you can give me tips in this direction I will forever be grateful to you).
Then, I remembered that perhaps this sobfest was due to the imbalance in my hormones at the moment: the medication, auntie flow, and the constant struggle between my ying and yang that hasn't been settled. (Always easy to blame external factors).
But it's okay, because I'm enjoying this self-discovery experience with my therapist and learning what a wonderful and beautiful person I truly am. Really. I love myself but it's not enough. I should love my faults too. And once I've accepted myself, my guilt, my mistakes, my emotions fully, that I shall reach another level of sainthood, lol, I mean satisfaction.
Anyhows, alongside this journey, I also happen to have completed Elizabeth Gilbert's eat pray love. My means of transformation are different. It's not easy for an Arab woman to leave everything and travel the world in search for 'the truth' unfortunately. The closest thing I can do is take time-off from work and travel with the girls somewhere nice.
Right now, I have my eyes closed, and am in begging mode, wishing that I can have a truly wonderful trip to celebrate my birthday, or myself and the wonderful woman I am becoming.
(trip details shall be revealed shortly)
Have a blessed journey,
till we meet again
Sedeso
And
that's exactly what I did. Although my eyes couldn't remain open anymore, I was forcing them to watch Ashley Judd and Hugh Jackman's "Somebody like you". I cried because at some points along the plotline I identified with the heroine and at other times I cried even more because like the other 40 million women on this planet, I do want her to find 'true love', the stuff of fairy tales.
And
I wondered. Again, for the umpteenth million times. How does it happen? How do people meet, fall in love with each other equally and decide that they'd like to spend the rest of their lives together in harmony? (Note: if you can give me tips in this direction I will forever be grateful to you).
Then, I remembered that perhaps this sobfest was due to the imbalance in my hormones at the moment: the medication, auntie flow, and the constant struggle between my ying and yang that hasn't been settled. (Always easy to blame external factors).
But it's okay, because I'm enjoying this self-discovery experience with my therapist and learning what a wonderful and beautiful person I truly am. Really. I love myself but it's not enough. I should love my faults too. And once I've accepted myself, my guilt, my mistakes, my emotions fully, that I shall reach another level of sainthood, lol, I mean satisfaction.
Anyhows, alongside this journey, I also happen to have completed Elizabeth Gilbert's eat pray love. My means of transformation are different. It's not easy for an Arab woman to leave everything and travel the world in search for 'the truth' unfortunately. The closest thing I can do is take time-off from work and travel with the girls somewhere nice.
Right now, I have my eyes closed, and am in begging mode, wishing that I can have a truly wonderful trip to celebrate my birthday, or myself and the wonderful woman I am becoming.
(trip details shall be revealed shortly)
Have a blessed journey,
till we meet again
Sedeso
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