What if?

I've come across too many men through work, college, friendship, and crushes. I remember when I turned 25, I took a head-count of my crushes and I've actually crushed over 25 men, 1 for each year I've been alive.  Some of those I was obsessed with like the actor Jonathan Brandis.  Do other people have crushes as easily as I do on the opposite sex?

Now I look back and wonder: why?

I was too young when I started being interested in boys and stalking the ones I liked.  I was the one who went after them. And I did all I could to get them to like me. One male after the other, never stopping at all, never taking a breather to reflect upon what I was doing right or wrong. 

I wonder now, a month before turning 28, had I lived an interest-free life from boys, would I have found a man to have a stable relationship with? Or would my hybrid background still be affecting my chances? [insert FFWD: May 2010: This has nothing to do with getting hitched and finding love my child ]

I ask you this question?

Till we meet again,

Sedeso