I don't know what is happening to me, or to my current relationship. It's a mixture of fear, confusion, helplessness, and hopefulness.
To anyone, this may seem as stable and ideal as a relationship can be. Yet, I cannot help but want more and want something different. I want to be madly, deeply in love with him. I want this love to consume me, I want it to take over my life and shake my very existence to its core.
Does that feeling of intense love change as you grow older? Does it intensify or is it meant to quiet down?
Is it love, obsession? Or is that infatuation?
Is love meant to hurt this much?
And why I am in constant fear of a future without him?
I want him to be mine, all mine. I want him to dislike all other females and only have eyes for me. Ukh gosh so possessive of me. Hmm, this may mean that I should have eyes only for him. Well, he should not worry since I love him way too much for a sanely balanced 28-year-old. I admit that at times, I get angry when he's too busy to answer my phone calls, that I contemplate the thought of having a backup plan. But these thoughts come for a split of a second only and detour my head as quickly for many reasons: 1) I am not a player, never have been and never will be. It just goes against all my morals, 2) I love him too much to do this, and 3) He is a good person, a decent man who deserves complete and utter loyalty.
There, I vented on the blog and I feel a bit better. All I have to do is let him call me more than I call him.
Some vintage inspo.
Till we meet again, Sedeso
"Quote" from : http://steviwonderwoman.blogspot.com/
See, men are not fish. Once you use bait and hook a fish, the task is complete ... you go home lol. You can hook a man, but he is not forced to stay once he takes the bait. You're left feeling used and hopeless. All you can do is run your own race and have some self-respect. Find comfort and peace in the fact that no one can ever be you. Dig deep to find security in your beauty ladies
"Unquote"
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