I hit rock bottom last week. 2 days after I came back from visiting my beloved, I got angry again for there was no sign of matrimony, a happily ever after future together. Mom was feeling down too, on the verge of tears, burdened by what life has dumped on her shoulders in the absence of a support system. I was also angry for giving into intimacy because it is morally and religiously wrong. So I cried, cried, and sobbed even stronger.
I felt so down, and the tears kept pouring. They just wouldn't stop. I cried forcefully, trying to squeeze the pain out of me. I stopped for a split second and asked myself: what am I trying to cry out of my system? And I went quiet again and contemplated giving up on everything and becoming a potato couch. But funnily enough, the though of giving up on my education slapped some sense back into me and I thought to myself: fine, I'll work hard for 1 more semester then I'll give up on everything.
But of course, as we have learned by now, the universe works in mysterious ways and it is always mocking me. ALWAYS!!
So first, I get approval to travel on an official visit to attend a summer lunch in the Palace. How cool is that?
Next, I get my grades out and it's a high distinction, even higher than what I deserve.
Then I attend a simple yet enjoyable wedding.
A high school mini gathering takes place last weekend.
And I end my weekend with my shimmy shimmy class where I'm getting better by the day. Even my sudden shyness of performing solo for a 1 person audience is slowly diminishing.
I am sure that I have a life that many people envy. And I agree wholeheartedly. But as a mere human being, I want more.
I just wonder what my future holds.
Till we meet again,
Sedeso
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