What was last night all about? God was that you, trying to tell me something by all those signs and bits of information?
So first we meet up and I ride in his car and in his city. Usually, he gets worried that people may recognize him. So was he slightly more relaxed because not everyone will recognize the new car or is he getting more comfortable and proud of my presence in his life?
And then he starts pointing out their palaces, businesses, properties, shops and I got slightly alarmed. I have always dreamed of being hitched to someone of a high status and now that I am seeing someone I feel very intimidated. If we really do get hitched, how will I ever match up?
But most importantly, why is my self-esteem so low? Why can't I hope for the best for myself and believe strongly that I deserve it? Why not?
He bought me an air purifier which I refused to take. I even refused the moola he offered me. And he understood that I refused both out of stubbornness because he wouldn't get me the YSL bag I wanted.
I am confused as to why do I act like this with him? Why? Do I not realize I could lose the man I love by acting petty and stubborn?
Why did I just blabber on bb about ending it with him when what I want the most from this life is to be with him and no one else? I am seriously confusing this man. It seems he just read it at 5:54pm. What will happen?
What is going on and why is it happening this way? What does my future hold for me? God, please help me fulfil this dream of mine. Please, I beg you.
_______________________________The things I want most from this life before dying: marrying the man I love and having his babies.
Sedeso
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