What should I wish for?

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I am going to ignore sweetest N for many reasons but mainly because I am so sick of her for she tends to act like a leech. I have so much to worry about that I seriously have no time to baby her anymore. I know she is somehow jealous and wants to be me since she copied my lifestyle from my blog to my dress sense. Oh please, you're a me-wannabe.

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Dear God,

I wish for more blessings, bigger ones actually. It's not enough that I got this man 1 day after the course and within 1 month he confessed he was interested in getting to know me more. I want more, make him one of my biggest fans. Let him calmly but surely fall in love with me.

I must admit this even though anyone who reads it will be shaming me: I am tired of asking you for the same thing over and over again. All you have to do is raise your magic wand, point it and make it happen.

Left, right and center, everyone is getting married in fairytale circumstances. I feel left out.

Mother called me yesterday from the holy site in tears and asking me to pray what my heart desires. I got confused and deep down did not want to ask for anything. I am 1000 miles away and have been praying for things my whole life.

I used to love, but now I fear, hence my meaningless prayers on time.

I am aching so much, especially my back and I know its to do with the why I am feeling.

I am grateful for my good health and stable life but I want more for what you're dripping me with is not enough.

Lord, stop testing me, please. I turn 29 in a week's time and I have never been more unsure, insecure, afraid and desperate.

Till we meet again,
Sedeso

ps: I hope you were listening to me.