What if?

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I am scared, so scared of the future and what it may bring to me.  And I am sure that it's the effect of the reunion and having seen most of my ex-school friends happily married with babies.  A few of them have what I want the most from this life and this is why I freaked out.

"Quote" I remember wondering how tomorrow was going to feel without her "Unquote". In simple words, I am petrified of a future without him.

What if I don't get specifically what I want from life?  Just what if? I can already see my therapist telling me not to think about such negative thoughts because as we all know our lives are a result of our own thoughts.

I am frightened.  Yet, I remain to have hope and this is what I love about myself.  Regardless of how tough the going gets, and how miserably I fall to the ground, I always pick myself up and carry one.  So shall I call myself a sensitive survivor? 

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I wrote the above last night, bursting with a salad of emotions and today I read this:

sometimes, life can get HARD. i mean, HARD. I always feel bad for atheists because they have nothing to believe in other than this world. they hold on to society. let me tell you, that's how your hands get frostbite. without faith in God, life loses its purpose and emptiness consumes the spirit. Really, with a companion in Jesus, things don't seem as bad. We are oftentimes scared when things change because we do not know what's next. I have recently started to embrace the concept of "possibility" ...instead of running from it like a coward, we need to be excited & waiting to see what happens next. emotions happen. tragedy happens. hurt happens. you cant get rid of it ...but you can definitely upgrade your outlook on things :]

Till we meet again,
Sedeso