I need help. Madre needs help. My whole screwed-up family needs intervention and help but to start off with, if me and madre are fixed then the rest of the emotional cuckoos will calm down. So I managed to make an appointment for madre with my therapist.
And Shimmy seems to be one of the few highlights that are keeping me going day by day.
During shimmy class, The One bbed me asking where I was. Every time he contacts me I become nervous and am on my toes, trying my best to impress him, please him in the vain hope that he will come back, love me again, and marry me. The way things are looking, it will take a miracle for The One to marry me.
I asked if he got the letter and he replied not yet. I am dying to go back to the way things were between us, intense and full of a twisted kind of love. Is it my fault at all? Probably yes.
Sigh. I am slightly hopeful because some sort of intervention is coming soon. It may help or it may not be of any benefit. Only Allah knows.
I am so drained emotionally and not sure how I am surviving on a day-to-day basis. What I need right now is a miracle, a huge one, that will knock me off my feet, take my breath away and keep me in amazement and awe for a long long time.
I still have a small glimmer of hope though, in the midst of this amazonian forest of sadness, doubt and disappointment. Sigh.
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Right now, liking Lady Dior bags very much. I deserve a big fat gift don't you think?
Till we meet again
Sedeso
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