I have been restless for the past few nights. I twist and turn violently because I am fully aware what transformations are happening within me. I am growing, and morphing into the purposeful person I am yet to become. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like a simple human being but I immediately brush off the idea. I am who I am, with my strengths and weaknesses. I am a rich person from the inside and I ooze kindness in many ways. It's true that when I look into the mirror I do not see the beauty that others see in me but I do feel it. I sense a richness within me that is both absorbing and somehow addictive. Oh well.
The weather is gorgeous since yesterday. It is officially winter. It rained on my way to the gym the day before.
I realized something. That unless I am absolutely knackered, afternoon naps make me depressed.
The Highlight of my day was the shimmy class and I am improving. Phew. I don't know why, but when I look at myself dance nowadays, I find it slightly odd. And when I compare myself to the others in the mirror, I feel slightly out of proportion. Hmm, must check out this issue with my therapist. Is it something internal that is being reflected or just a figment of my imagination?
As I was driving back from my class, I wondered: Could The One be purposely distancing himself to teach me a lesson? To remind me that he will always be the man in the relationship. Maybe, because how could he not love me after all that we have been through? Again, am I imagining it or could my hunch be true? Let's leave it at that.
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Stunning portraits and ideas for photography:
So on day 51, I am more aware of what I have been blessed with. I have hope, which many people lack. I have hope amidst a forest of doubts and it always shines through. Even though The One doesn't see it, it is enough that I know it.
Till we meet again,
Sedeso
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