On this Thursday, the future ahead was still seen as a blank white page. Since I am known to plan my every step, I was only able to plan until the termination of my last degree. With the exception of a few definite work events, I cannot see beyond this point. I guess I will have to deal with each day as it comes. I may as well live it and try to enjoy it.
I felt so guilty for canceling out on Lubby, but going to Allan's for one night and having to come back the next day for the engagement party seemed pointless. I would only have done this for The One. This is a point I should be aware of. It seems I always do too much and go out of my way for The One which can sometimes reflect back negatively especially when I expect something from him.
Instead of heading to Allan's, I joined my boss and checked out the race tracks for dinner. Nice impression overall. We then had steak at the hotel with her madre. Funny how all mothers can somehow be the same: harsh, critical of their own daughters and dreaming of getting them hitched properly.
Throughout this visit, I was being bombarded with messages from The One. He was very worried since there was a slight error in the system with his actual dob. He sounded worried and was extremely agitated.
I blurted out don't worry "love", and realized this word sounded slightly foreign to me. I didn't intend it but was aware of it
I rushed home at midnight and drove very recklessly. We wrote the email and sent it out. When I told him its my bedtime, instead of the kiss which I missed so much, he only said: Fine. I was very disappointed but somehow glad that he was relying on me for such matters. I assume that he is holding back because he doesn't want me to get too attached. Funny that he doesn't realize that I have fallen for him too deep. It is slightly painful whichever way we look at it.
Something in me, this 01% of hope is holding on to everything hoping that a bright and happy future will re-develop.
You never know, I may get my happily ever after future with The One.
I love this man for now, dearly and deeply.
Till we meet again,
Sedeso
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