I missed my Shimmy class because mother dearest insisted that I join her and sis at Intl Market. I was slightly annoyed considering how I barely exercise these days and this is taking its toll on the amount of cellulite I have. I don't know what it is about me that is never satisfied with my own skin and body yet I don't work hard enough at the gym to rectify things before time starts taking its toll on me. Every time I would look at my mother before I would tell myself: I do not want to end up looking like that. But now, as I stare at my behind in the mirror, I feel slightly disgusted and think: shit, my body is morphing into hers.
I know that I should learn to accept my body and love it but this I find too difficult. I am too judgemental of my own body and since this is part of my personality then there is a fair chance that I may remain like this for the rest of my life. So what is the solution? To learn to accept me. And just thinking of how hard this journey is going to be is actually frustrating me and burdening my shoulders.
I cried so much that night, actually I sobbed. They were cries of desperation, muted so as not to alert anyone of my current mental status. Yes, I wasn't hysterical but I still had to mute the sound of my anguish and agony.
Lord, I don't want to go through this. I want to be so happy because I have finally married the man I love and am about to live happily ever after with my children. It is a simple request ya Rabb, very simple.
I felt a little better after I watched the comedies and exhausted my eyes. So for now, Glee and Gossip Girl are the pickup factor, but what will happen once I've watched all the episodes.
My sleep was very restless and I kept waking up every 2 hours. Is this something I picked up from The One?
I feel far from being happily ever after.
__________________________________Bedroom inspo:
Sedeso
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