Spent most of my Wednesday morning lazing about in my comfy sports gear. I don't get how some ladies manage to look spectacular 24/7. I do not have the energy to maintain my looks all the time. I'd rather have many days off where I am laid back. That's why I have to make sure all my lazy day clothes are very cute atleast.
I kept looking at the wall clock and remembering The Knocker and hating the thought of meeting with him. What is it that turned me totally off him? His persistent interest? His wife's words to me? Or am I simply bored because I sort of got him somehow; the fact that he still contacts me behind his wife's back?
As reluctant as I was of meeting up with The Knocker, I eventually texted after 6pm. I even considered backing out during the drive there and whilst sitting and enjoying my book. Something in me soooo does not want to see him. I'd rather just contact him by phone only and for work purposes. But I felt sorry for him when he texted: With you I will go to the Moon!! No guy has ever ever said this to me. I just wish these words came from The One instead.
Life is so funny in the way that I didn't mind chatting to him for hours and even considered becoming a second wife. I also believe that I have lost interest in him because I now know that he appreciates and likes me more than I like him. Sometimes I wonder: had I played hard to get with The One would I have bagged him? A part of me says perhaps, but knowing The One, when you ignore him, he ignores you back and he used to appreciate attention somehow.
So I sat with him and now I realize that something in me wanted to be cruel to him. And I believe part of the frustration was because I was getting the attention I craved but not from the person I desired the most. So being a mere human earthling I brought out this frustration on him and refused his movie or his dinner or more time with him.
So he left when he realized I am not interested in spending too much time with him.
What to do, what to do next? Something told me to try The Introducer. So I called her, chatted for about 5 minutes when I decided to go visit her instantly. It was already 9pm but I wasn't going to spend too much time there anyways.
We chatted alot and The One's name came up. She said he was afraid of matrimony because he is worried he may end up cheating considering how everybody within his circle were fucking around. Sometimes I feel she exaggerates about certain things. Could The One be a player the way she describes him to be? I honestly do not think so.
Her husband came home and I saw him. Ofcourse the only thing he was interested in talking about was my job, my salary and how I should be working elsewhere. I noticed something. Her husband, regardless of what a big bastard he was kept calm and calculated. She was talking loudly, huffing and puffing, voicing out her opinions. I sensed her frustration at him and remembered myself. The world has a way of showing us what ugliness lays within us.
Her husband stopped me on our way out and gave me the advice of changing my workplace. I dislike it very much when people start preaching about this topic. They always question the title, the salary and based on that conclude whether a workplace is worth it or not. I disagree with such thinking because other things matter to me such as: the job nature, the atmosphere, the boss, the competition, the proximity to one's home. I'd rather be underpaid and happy than overpaid and miserable. And this is because I hope to achieve happiness in every aspect of my life, unlike alot of people such as The Nobleman who has settled and accepted a miserable life. All I had in mind was: dude, you better fix your own work issues before trying to solve mine. Now on one hand, they may have been seriously doing this out of concern, knowing my current responsibilities and wishing me the best. However, to me it felt more like they assumed they knew better of what suits me than myself. Oh well.
As I drove back from The Introducer's place, I was digesting it all but being thankful at the same time for everything I have been given. Who knew that her man would 'man-up'and fix himself abit and his life and commit to her well and steady exactly the way she wants it. She sure does have alot of patience, lots of it and I hope to be blessed with some more than I already have. I am not there yet, there being that matrimonial bliss but hopefully I will be sooner than later inshAllah.
At least The One bbéd me about 11ish asking where I was. I love attention and acts that show care and concern about one's beloved.
_______________________________Till we meet again,
Sedeso
PS: The one who popped up suddenly will be referred to from now onwards as The Popper.
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